


Let's Talk Shop

by MostFacinorous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Corporate, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bondage, Breaking and Entering, Corporate Intrigue, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Relationship(s), Service Top, Topping from the Bottom, Vanilla Kink, Workplace Relationship, Workplace Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 00:13:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12200118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MostFacinorous/pseuds/MostFacinorous
Summary: You know how we used to classify fics as lemons, limes, etc? I think this one is Devil's food with vanilla icing.Steve in HR is asked to investigate high performing troublemaker Loki. And he does. Thoroughly.Very porn. Some feelings.





	Let's Talk Shop

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lise/gifts).



> A (VERY) belated Birthday gift to Lise, based on [ this image. ](http://veliseraptor.tumblr.com/post/157955232330/frenchfrostpudding-angelsseb)  
> Happy Birthday hon!

“Ever since the merger, the guy’s been grating on my last nerve. But I can’t fire him; he’s one of our strongest performers, and we inherited his five year contract.”

Nick sounded resigned, but still angry.

“What does he do that’s so grating?” Steve asked.

He’d interacted with Loki, and found him… polite, if cold. And maybe a little full of himself. But none of that seemed to be worth the level of complaints Steve had been getting about him.

“He’s _disdainful_ , he’s proud, he tries to take control of any project I put him on, he doesn’t know how to work with anyone-- hell, I put him on his own brother’s team, hoping that Thor would help dislodge the stick up his ass--”

Steve lifted an eyebrow and glared, and Nick had the good grace to look a little embarrassed.

“Sorry. Figure of speech.”

“Or the start of a workplace harassment suit, if he feels like his job might be at risk.”

Nick grunted, obviously annoyed, but more with himself than Steve, he thought.

“Anyway. So you assigned him to work with Thor?”

Steve knew Thor- he was well liked, did his job and did it well and with good humor. He’d also go out of his way to help anyone around him who was buried under assignments. He was a good guy. The sort of person Steve thought he’d go out for drinks with, if that was a thing that people around here did.

But he hadn’t realized Thor had a brother working with the company, and even had he known, he would never have guessed that brother was _Loki_.

“I had to reassign him within a week.”

Steve winced at that.

“So he can’t be fired but he’s not helping productivity--”

“He’s perfectly productive on his own, like I said, the guy’s one of our best. But he’s just not meshing.”

Steve nodded, making a note to himself.

“I’ll have him in, talk with him. See if I can’t figure out what he’s hoping for that isn’t playing the way he wants it. Who knows, maybe he was up for a promotion before we moved in. Something like that.”

Nick didn’t look thoroughly convinced, but he did look at least a little relieved.

“Well, you’ll let me know if it’s something I need to know about.”

“Of course, Sir.”

“Thanks, Steve.”

Over the course of that afternoon, he got two more emails with complaints about Loki. So he carefully composed a message of his own, asking Loki to come speak to him the next day, at his convenience.

 

He spent the day waiting-- doing other things, of course, reviewing applications and scheduling himself interviews and meetings, but always with half an eye on the door.  He even skipped lunch, just in case that was the only time that Loki had, and then, ten minutes before closing, angry at having been so soundly ignored, he took the trip upstairs to where Loki’s desk was. He’d have preferred somewhere more private, because he knew that Loki shared the floor with several developers who were known to be the office gossips, but if Loki wouldn’t come to him, he didn’t have a lot of other options.

Loki was there, a deep frown plastered across his face and his back ramrod straight while he leaned forward, leaving a wide gap between his spine and the back of his chair.

Steve cleared his throat politely and Loki turned to look at him, the momentary expression of anger clearing up once he registered who it was, though Steve saw it and made note of it-- how would he have reacted if it wasn’t Steve?

Loki looked from him down to the clock on his screen and blanched.

“My apologies, Rogers. I’m afraid the day has gotten away from me. Ah--” he looked back at his screen, then at the papers beside him.

“I have a deadline at the end of the day. Is there any chance you’ll be available tomorrow?”

As a matter of fact, Steve was mostly available the next day, but he didn’t want to spend the entire time waiting again.

“I have a meeting immediately after lunch, but I imagine I should be back in my office by three. Can you be there then?”

Loki reached for his watch-- one of those fancy ones that linked to his phone, Steve saw, and a few taps later, he gave Steve a tight smile.

“I shall be there. If you will excuse me, though--” he gestured at his screen. “Fury gets cross if I stay late.”

Steve made a mental note of that as he began walking away, the first of many, he hoped.

Loki had already been reprimanded for staying late, and he was going to be skating in just barely at a deadline, by the looks of it. And Steve knew he wasn’t popular in the office, based on all of the complaints, so it wasn’t as if he was wasting time on socializing. Which left the question of why he was short on time in the first place.  
  


Frowning, Steve returned to his office, gathered his belongings, clocked out, and headed for the elevator to go home.

Thor was there, and given Steve’s current assignment… he couldn’t pass up the opportunity,

“Hey Thor,” he greeted, flashing the man a genuine smile. “Congrats on the meeting last week-- I hear your team acquired a VC firm for us.”

“Yeah, thanks! Things seem to be moving along pretty well, hey? How about you, anything interesting going on in HR?” He clapped a hand on Steve’s back and took a step to the side as a few more people entered the elevator on the next floor.

Thor was smart- smarter than he sometimes seemed, with his warmth and enthusiasm. It would have been easy to forget how smart he was, if not for his eyes. And that was probably the only thing that he and Loki had in common- that shrewd look. Like they were measuring you.

Steve was glad Thor seemed not to object to what he saw, though he wondered how he’d measure up to Loki’s expectations.

“No, no, nothing exciting. Just trying to uh-- gather data for a study of workplace relationships. Uh- of, um. Just how people get along.” Steve realized halfway through that it sounded like he was asking about office romances, which he took a very firm ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t let it interfere and we’ll be fine’ stance on.

Thor shifted, looking uncomfortable just the same.

“Jane’s department has nothing to do with mine, so we didn’t think there would be any conflict there--” He began, but Steve shook his head.

“No, uh, that’s not-- Does Loki have any friends?” He found himself nearly blurting out the question he’d intended to build up to.

That got Thor to stop, and he tilted his head, that too intelligent look coming back as he stared Steve in the face.

Steve felt himself reddening under the scrutiny.

“In the workplace, I mean, or does he--”

Another floor, another person or two got on.

“No.” Thor said finally. “No, he is very much alone.”

He wasn’t sure why Thor made it sound as reassuring as he did.

Steve frowned.

“Oh.”

He’d have preferred if Loki had someone, he thought. Someone to talk to or vent frustrations at-- everyone else seemed to. And maybe that was some of it, too.

 _Alone_ , Thor had said.

Maybe Loki just needed someone willing to listen.

“I have a meeting with him tomorrow after lunch.” Steve said, not sure why he was telling Thor, and fairly certain he could be reprimanded for it, if only mildly. But maybe Thor needed to be reassured, the same way he thought Steve did.

“I am glad of it.” Thor told him, regaining his smile as they reached ground floor.

He patted his shoulder again once more and left, while Steve blinked and took a deep breath.

They didn’t have an office counselor or therapist, or whatever they were called, which left him as the next closest thing, but if they had had one, he thought he would probably recommend Loki visit them. Since he was so alone that even his brother that he didn’t get along with worried about him.

Steve went home, Loki and the idea of him- isolated and lonely- playing in his thoughts while he heated up his meal for the night, a handy series of tupperware containers that he’d prepared the weekend prior, so that he wouldn’t have to cook during the week. They were variations of chicken and vegetables, and he barely paid attention to what it was as he was eating.

He wondered if Loki did meal prep, or if he got frozen meals for one… but then he pictured him, sitting up straight and tall and so proper, even while his brow was creased with concentration, and he figured he might the type who would pick food up, eat out or order in.

He pulled out his clothing for the next day and then re thought his choice, second guessing himself and ironing two shirts, so that he could try them on in the morning and make his final decision then.

Not that he figured it would matter, but with as crisp and clean as the lines of Loki’s clothes had been, he didn’t want to look slovenly. Maybe Loki would relate to him better if he looked closer to the way that Loki did.

He even thought of him while he was in the shower, of those long fingers tapping away, first at his keyboard and then at his watch. He saw, in his mind’s eye, the way Loki’s furrowed brow and furious expression had both smoothed away at seeing Steve there. Not that it meant anything.

But he hadn’t been unkind or rude at all-- not like the complaints claimed he was, or at least, he hadn’t acted that way towards Steve. He rinsed his shampoo out, turned off the water, and climbed out of the tub.  
  


By the time he got to bed, he realized he’d been thinking about Loki for a good solid twelve hours straight, maybe longer, and he felt vaguely ashamed.

The fact that he was alone shouldn’t make him seem more appealing. The fact that Steve had no idea which way he swung shouldn’t-- didn’t-- give him any sort of right to entertain any sort of fantasies about him.

And as for tomorrow--

Steve groaned, flopping over and burying his face in the pillow.

Hopefully he would be fine, be able to forget all of this-- the story of how Loki lived that he’d manufactured for himself, the thoughts of how good he looked… he just wanted tomorrow to go smoothly. Wanted to take care of the problem, and move on.

That wasn’t too much to ask, he thought. And it had always worked before. It would be fine.

  
  


\---

  
  


Steve’s morning alternated between flying past and dragging by at a snail’s pace, and when he finally had to leave for his lunch meeting with Sam, he was almost relieved.

But not as relieved as when he got back at around 2:30, just early enough that he knew he’d be there before Loki, and he wouldn’t have to wait in the hall for Steve to show up.

That was the idea anyway, until he went to unlock the door to his office and found it already unlocked-- forgetting wasn’t like him, and he let himself in cautiously.

Flipping the light on, what he saw on his desk left him gaping.

 

Or, more accurately, _who_ he saw on his desk.

 

All of his paperwork had been cleared off, and Loki was laying with his butt facing the door, his cheek pressed to the wood, and a gag in his mouth, keeping him quiet, ostensibly, until Steve returned.

His hands were taped behind his back, there was some sort of belt-and-metal-pole system between his legs, and his neck tie appeared to have been closed in the drawer on the opposite side.

His normal vest or blazer was nowhere to be seen, and his slacks didn’t even make an attempt at hiding the shape of his ass or thighs under their fabric.

In short, he looked beautiful. And pissed as hell.  
  


“Loki!” Steve finally managed to gasp, and he shut the door behind him quickly, not wanting anyone to see.

“Hang on--” he hurried forward, unclasping the gag and circling around to pull Loki’s tie out of his pen drawer-- which _was_ locked, oddly enough.

“Are you okay?” He asked, the most urgent question, the most appropriate thought that he could summon.

Loki straightened, somehow managing to look dignified despite the wrinkles in his shirt and the way some of his hair had come loose from his normal slicked back style, becoming pressed to his cheek, which bore a pink spot on it from laying on that side.

Loki worked his mouth, wincing a little.

“I’m fine. My brother and his friends’ idea of a joke, no doubt.” He rolled his eyes and winced, and Steve froze, more than a little horrified.

Obviously Loki hadn’t done this to himself-- especially the tape, there was no way he could have. But the idea that it was Thor who had done it-- _no doubt_ \--

“You mean you’re not sure it was them?” He asked, disbelieving.  
  


Loki shrugged as best he could, while bound like this.

“They snuck up behind me at my desk while everyone else was at lunch. There were three of them, and they had masks. They left you a note, though--” He nodded at the envelope that had apparently been underneath of him when he’d been laid out.

Steve snatched it up, tearing the paper out of it impatiently.

“A gift for you: He’s been very bad.” He read, disgusted. “Make sure you give him the punishment he deserves.”

Steve felt his stomach drop out and a dozen panicked thoughts began flashing through his head.

“Loki, I’m so sorry-- I think this may have more to do with me than-” He stumbled, words grinding to a halt. “I don’t know how they could have found out.” He said, quieter, thoughts of resigning already pushing to the forefront of his mind.

Loki sucked air in between his teeth and rolled his eyes.

“Please, Rogers. I’m sure your reputation remains untarnished. In my off hours, I go to dungeons for this sort of thing. I would not be surprised if the bar between my legs is my own.”

Steve’s brain broke a little at that thought. The idea of Loki-- Loki spread out like this, but by his own choosing, or Loki spreading someone else out. Steve’s breath caught at the idea of it. Loki was watching him, though, and Steve regained his composure as much as he could.

“I-- sorry, here, let me undo your arms.”

“Oh, I don’t know if that’s entirely necessary, Steve.” Loki purred.

Steve swallowed at the tone of his voice.

“Uh-- what?” All of the nerves, all of the idle fantasies he’d had the night before were suddenly swept away to be replaced by more heightened versions-- ones that came with a sharp coil of lust low in his stomach.

“Apparently I’m a gift for you. It seems ungrateful of you not to treat me as intended.”

He spoke low and smoothly, but Steve found himself glancing at his door just the same, though he wasn’t sure if he was having thoughts of escape or if he was just worried that someone would hear, walking by.  
  


“I can’t do that here. You know I can’t.” He spoke in a loud whisper, words urgent as he prayed that Loki came to his senses.  
  


“Hmm. Can’t you? But you want to, though, don’t you? You’re thinking about it now-- about how it could be possible.”

Loki looked Steve in the eye and arched a brow challengingly, then slowly, deliberately, lowered himself back down over the desk.

“Loki…” Steve’s voice came out a whisper.

“For once in your pathetic life, Rogers, take what you want. I’m _offering_.”

Steve backed away, his hand landing on the doorknob to his office. He registered the resignation and disappointment on Loki’s face, and then, with a click almost drowned out by the sound of his heart pounding in his ears, he locked his door.  
  


Loki grinned, the expression sharp and near-feral, while Steve stepped towards him.

“Such forethought, Steve. No wonder Fury trusts you so implicitly.”

Loki was still nearly sneering his words, but when Steve kept his silence, he looked nervous again and stood, turning as if to face him.

Steve took hold of the taped over part of his forearms, crossed over his back, and pushed him back down against the desk.  
  


Loki let out a sort ‘oof’ as the air was pushed out of him, but that wicked grin was back in place on his face.Steve looked down at him, the front of his thigh brushing the outside of Loki’s, the heat of them both barely lessened by the thin fabric of their slacks.

Steve ran a hand over the curve of Loki’s ass, appreciating the shape of it, the firmness.  
  


“What are your limits, here?” Steve asked, no longer hesitant, though a voice inside of his head was screaming at how stupid he was.

Only Loki was under any sort of contract, and Steve was pretty sure this kind of behavior would void any protection he had against getting fired.

If they were caught…

“I won’t call you ‘Daddy’.”

Loki said firmly, like he expected an argument, and Steve couldn’t help but laugh.

Loki glared balefully at him, and Steve shook his head.

“I wouldn’t ask you to. What else?”

Loki twisted his mouth up.

“Clothes stay intact- I have to be able to walk out of here at least outwardly decent. And I have to be _able to_ walk- another _limit_ , I suppose.”

He said it as if the words were sour.  
  


Like someone had taught him that not having limits was preferable. Or that limits were bad, somehow.

Steve didn’t know what dungeons Loki was going to, be he was pretty sure he didn’t like them.

Still, the longer he kept Loki here, the more he had to worry about-- and here he paused, running his fingers over Loki’s fingertips, checking the temperature, making sure the bindings weren’t too tight.

Loki groaned.

“Yes, you are _very_ considerate. Gold star. I’d tell you if there was a problem, but all I need right now is for you to hit me or fuck me or -- _both_.”

His last word turned into a pleased sounding keen when Steve let his hand land heavily on Loki’s ass.

“I’ll try my best not to ruin your pants, but with as round as your ass is, and as tight as you like to wear them, there’s always the possibility that they’ll split.”

He spanked him again, and Loki grunted, then closed his eyes and bit down on his lip. It made Steve smile. Made _him_ want to bite down on Loki’s lip.

“Being so good, keeping so quiet. But, you know, I have no idea if I’m hitting you hard enough. What do you think? Tell me what you’re being punished for.”

Loki hissed, eyes opening back up. Steve would have laughed again at the sound if the expression on Loki’s face hadn’t knocked the air out of him.

“You tell me.” He said, speaking lowly, almost like it was a threat.

“You’re the one who called me here, after all.”

Steve blinked, feeling guilty for a moment, but then Loki arched his back, reminding the hand resting on his ass what it was meant to be doing.

Steve rubbed over the pants, trying to feel if his skin had warmed yet.

“Well,” he started. “First of all, did you make your deadline yesterday?”

Loki moaned, and he sounded pleased again, even though, when he spoke, the answer was, “No.”  
  


Steve let his hand fall, putting a little more strength behind it than he had before.

“And why not?”

“As soon as Nick added me to the team, they stopped working so that we’d fail. So I’d be reassigned. I missed the deadline because I’m doing _six_ peoples’ jobs.” This time, the frustration in his voice wasn’t lust driven.

Steve frowned at that, but rewarded Loki with another slap.

Since that seemed to be what he wanted.  
  


“Why don’t you get along with your team?” He asked mildly.

“There’s-- stories. About me.”

That was the first Steve had heard of that.  He rubbed over the area he’d just hit.  
  


“What kinds of stories?”  
  


“That I’m contracted because I slept with my last supervisor. As if Thanos had that kind of power.” Steve slapped him again, trying to imagine that, based on what he knew of Loki… it didn’t sit right.

“What else?”  
  


“My father used to work for Asgard-- ages ago, before the merger. He was CFO… He was caught stealing and fired.”

Steve felt his brows rising.

That was huge- the sort of thing a career didn’t recover from. And confusing. If Thor and Loki were brothers, and Odin had been CEO of Asgard when the merger happened...  
  


“So how’d your father end up CEO then? And what’s it have to do with you?”

Something wasn’t adding up-- if this was what was held against him, why didn’t Thor suffer for it, too?

Loki laughed, and the sound wasn’t happy or pleasant.

“Odin slept with his CFO’s wife. My ‘father’, the CFO was later framed for embezzlement. Laufey never stole from Asgard. And I was never his son.”

Steve was surprised by all of this.

“How’d you end up working for Asgard, then?”

Loki grinned.

“Blackmail.”

Steve struck him for that, finding that easier than a verbal reaction.  
  


Loki let out a fucking filthy moan, and Steve could feel his slacks getting tighter. He wondered how Loki was doing on that front.  
  


“I blackmailed Odin into hiring me, into accepting me publicly as his son. Threatened to take my dad’s story to the police. Threatened to tell Thor.”

Which he apparently hadn’t done. Thor referred to him as his brother, after all, and seemed to have no ill will towards him. Other than the type that might have led to Loki being tied up and left on Steve’s desk.  

“So the people you have a hard time working with-- they’re all loyal to Odin, still?”

That made sense. If everyone knew the dirt, or knew that for whatever reason, Odin was threatened by his younger son…

“Everyone here believes I waltzed in, the black sheep of the family, and was handed opportunities and contracts and higher pay. Even people who aren’t from Asgard… word gets around.”

“And so you do the job of six people, just to keep up your scores and credibility.”

Steve thought that was miserable. And it explained the tension in Loki’s back, in his neck and shoulders.

Suddenly, Steve didn’t want to be hitting him, any more. He wanted to be pressing his fingers into those muscles, loosening him up.

He cursed and pulled on Loki’s shoulder, turning him around and manhandling him until he was sitting on the desk.

Loki was glaring at him again.

“If you think this means you’re going to-- to put out some company memo and just make my life easier, you’re wrong. I didn’t come here to cry to teacher. I make my own success. I always have.”

He was beautiful, green eyes flashing, head lifted pridefully.  
  


“With blackmail.” Steve said, shaking his head.  
  


“If that’s what it takes.” Loki came back.

“And is that what you’re going to do to me, for this?”

Steve had to check, had to be sure.

Loki scoffed.

“Who would believe me? You of all people, keeper of the sexual harassment training videos, turning me over your desk, spanking me and rubbing your hard cock against my leg.” Loki somehow managed to sound both bitter and amused.  
  


“I’d believe you.” Steve said softly, and reached up for Loki’s face. Loki jerked away from his touch, though.

“Do you want to fuck me?” Loki asked, and Steve gaped a little, surprised by the brazenness of it. He recovered as quickly as he could, though.  
  


“Not here. It’s too risky, for both of us. But… later. Come to my place, I’ll cook. And then I can lay you out and teach you the things that the people in the dungeons _wish_ they could give you.”

It was bold, bolder than Steve was used to being. And Loki’s face-- he didn’t know what it was doing. He cycled through so many expressions so quickly that it would have been dizzying, if he wasn’t so damn easy to look at.

“You know, if you aren’t going to fuck me, I think I would rather you had unbound me before asking me on a date.”

Loki had apparently settled back into his distant and proud mask, and Steve could have groaned.  
  


He was going to leave, and things were going to be awkward between them now. Wonderful.

This was why he didn’t _do_ workplace relationships.

He sighed, stepping back from how close he had been to Loki, and cleared his throat.

At least he’d have an explanation he could give to Nick.

“Sorry. Turn around?”

Loki did as he asked, stiffly, and only partially because of the obvious erection he was sporting.

Steve tried pulling at the tape, then gave up and went for his desk.  
  


“I have a knife-- I promise not to cut you.”  
  


“Or my shirt.” Loki reminded.

Steve grimaced, but nodded.  
  


“What are we going to do about the people who brought you here?” He asked, suddenly realizing-- there were cameras, someone might have seen, or if they didn’t, someone could review the tapes and see-- and if they didn’t report it, he’d likely be in more trouble.

But from the expression Loki was making, he wasn’t going to listen to that kind of logic.

“Free me first. I can’t think like this.”

 

Which, Steve reflected, was completely fair.

Once he got the tape cut, he helped Loki to peel it off without ruining his shirt. And watched with a critical eye as Loki reached down to unbuckle the straps on the spreader bar, and then shook his arms out.

“Everything oka--” he was cut off by Loki grabbing him, and his first thought was that he was being attacked. Which… maybe he was, but not in the way he’d thought.

Loki pushed him down into the chair opposite his own, the visitor’s chair. Where Nick Fury had been two days prior, when he’d asked Steve to work on the problem of Loki.

He had a feeling that Nick hadn’t expected this, though.

Loki straddled him, hands on Steve’s shoulders and knees wedged between Steve’s hips and the sides of the chair.

“Everything is _fine_.” Loki insisted, leaning in so that his mouth was barely an inch from Steve’s.

“I am curious, though…” His eyes drifted downwards to Steve’s mouth, and he licked his lips before looking back up. “I haven’t ever seen you in the scene, but you’re clearly a kinky fuck. And you thought I’d been locked up to make a point to you. So. Where did you come by your kink?”

Steve found himself shaking under Loki, his legs tense and his hands clenched, but holding still.

“An ex.” He answered shortly.

“Was he good to you? Or did he like hitting you a little too much? Is that why you wouldn’t hit me harder?”

Loki’s voice, his words, even his expression were wicked, and it made Steve want to fight him. Or at least sass him a bit.  
  


“ _She_ was wonderful. Controlling, dominant, but attentive. She taught me to know all the edges of a partner’s limits before I went too far. And since your _dungeons_ don’t teach you how to give proper limits--” He clenched his jaw, raising an eyebrow, and instead of Loki getting angry, he laughed.

“Oh, Rogers-- you are a delight, aren’t you? So fixated on doing it right.”  
  


“Anything worth doing’s worth doing right.” He said, stubbornly not moving, even though Loki had begun to grind lightly against him.

“Or anyone, I daresay.”

Steve made a strangled noise low in his throat, prompting another laugh from Loki.  
  


“I’ll make you a deal, Steve. Do me right, right now, and I will come to your house later, and let you do right _by_ me. We can both get what we want. How does that sound?” He was nearly purring again, his mouth moved to be right beside Steve’s ear, and he’d leaned forward so that he was grinding directly against Steve’s dick.  
  


His mouth was dry and it fell open, his brain almost incapable of finding words.

Almost.

 

“Fuck, you’re trouble.” He managed, though the words came out breathy.

Loki chuckled, the sound like dark velvet.

“And here I thought such language was impermissible in the workplace?”

Steve finally regained control of his hands, and used one to give Loki the harder swat he’d apparently been after earlier.  
  


The other, though, he used to grab hold of Loki’s tie and drag his mouth to Steve’s, the kiss that unfolded turning hot and dirty almost instantly. Hungry. More desperate than Steve would have expected.

He used his grip on Loki’s ass to pull him into his lap further, dragging their cocks together through their slacks.

When the kiss finally broke, both of them panting and a little wild looking, Steve grinned.

“And here I thought your pants were tight before. They must be killing you now.”

Loki snorted.

“If you’d like me to take them off, you only have to ask. It _is_ what I wanted in the first place, after all.”

“And what if I want to take them off of you?” Steve challenged.

Loki smiled and stood, backing away until he was again seated on Steve’s desk.

Steve rose to follow, dropping to his knees before Loki, almost like he was begging him for something.

It brought another smile to Loki’s face, and he didn’t stop Steve as he reached out to remove first one shoe, then the other. Then the silk socks-- and he shouldn’t have been surprised that all of Loki was as elegant as his outside layer, but he was.

He’d really thought it was a mask. But, as he undid Loki’s belt and peeled his pants away, it seemed not. Even half naked, even sitting on Steve’s desk in his Calvin Klein boxer briefs, he looked like some kind of royalty.

Steve was fairly sure it was his bearing-- aided only by the dark look in his eyes.  
  


“You’re so beautiful.” Steve told him, and Loki’s face flitted through emotions again, before he leaned down to reach for Steve’s chin, drawing him up and into another kiss.

“And you look like you belong between my legs. These fucking lips...”

His thumb swiped across Steve’s lower lip to illustrate, and Steve swallowed, opening his mouth and allowing Loki to press his tongue down, making saliva well.

Loki smiled.

“I know you meant to show me exactly how good you could be after you’d finished cooking for me, but I’d love a sample- an appetizer, if you will.”

Steve huffed.

“Well I don’t keep condoms in my desk drawer, so this is about all you’re gonna get.”

He pulled back just a bit, lifted Loki up, and moved him back into the chair Steve had been in before.

Loki pouted, the expression poorly fitting for his face.

“How very responsible of you.” He deadpanned, and Steve nearly groaned.

Until Loki reached out for Steve’s tie and pulled him down again.

“Fine. Suck me now-- you can fuck me mindless later.”

Steve’s mouth went dry and he knelt quickly, knees protesting as he took to the floor. Loki lifted his hips to pull his underwear down, then draped his legs over Steve’s shoulders.  
  


“Wow.” Steve breathed, not quite sure whether he was speaking out loud or not.

Loki was _perfect_. Mouth wateringly so. Enough to make him want to lean in and swallow him down, dispensing with the niceties. But he felt like that was what Loki was used to-- like he’d never been properly teased or treasured, and as far as Steve knew, he’d only get this one chance to convince Loki to come back-- to actually show up at his house later.

This felt like a test, and Steve was ready to take it on.

He kissed the inside of Loki’s thigh, noting the way the muscles under his lips tightened in response.  

“One would think you didn’t want to do this, with how you drag your feet.” Loki commented, and Steve saw him watching him carefully. He looked reserved, like he was ready to pull away, to call the whole thing off.  
  


“Or maybe I want to, a lot, but I was taught better manners than that.” Steve tossed back at him, raising his brows before he took the head of him in, twisting his tongue across the top.

“Ah-- maybe you’re right.” Loki was quick to agree. “How very-- polite of you.” His voice already was showing strain, while Steve did his best to make sure it would get progressively worse.

Steve bobbed his head downwards, trying to moisten as much of Loki’s cock as possible. He knew from experience that it would be easier to swallow, the more of it that he managed to slick up with spit first. Admittedly, it had been a while since he’d done this, so he was a tiny bit nervous. But he couldn’t show it-- didn’t want Loki to think it wasn’t worth it.

As he attempted to go lower, to take more of him in, he caught himself choking, gagging a little, and when Loki’s hand lit on the back of his head, he closed his eyes, preparing himself to be pushed down further. But Loki just stroked at his hair, the touch at once reassuring and kinder, gentler, than Steve had expected him to be.

Steve tilted his head back as he withdrew Loki’s dick from his mouth a little ways, meeting his eyes and smiling around him before turning his head and diving back down.

The motion pulled a soft moan from low in Loki’s throat.  
  


Steve choked again, pulled back, and risked a look upwards, wiping at his watering eyes.

“The sounds you make--” Loki murmured, moving his hand to wipe at Steve’s tears with a gentle touch.

“You make me feel so large, so big in your mouth.”

Steve hummed in agreement, unable to help but find that funny-- Loki was longer than he was, he was pretty sure. Not as thick, but still… his prick was just as long and elegant as the rest of him.

Just as fucking perfect.

Steve pulled off entirely, gasping for air, but didn’t waste any on words, before diving back in.

Below him, Loki’s hips twitched, and he had to sling his tie over his shoulder to keep it out of Steve’s way.

But god, it was hot, looking up and seeing him falling apart. Knowing he had done that.

Was doing it to him, right now.

Steve was getting the hang of it now, able to swallow him down further, keep him there longer, before he had to back off and breathe. And he started mixing it up, putting his tongue out as he went, moving it along the underside of his shaft.

Loki’s entire cock was wet now, slimy and slick, and if he’d liked the sounds before, Steve had a feeling he was enjoying them even more now.

“Ah-- I’m getting close.” Loki warned.

Steve grinned and pressed himself all the way down again, taking Loki in up to his base.

“Is that where you want me to come? Down your throat, in your mouth? I bet you’d look so pretty with it dripping across your face.” Loki’s voice sounded more urgent now, his words coming faster and breathier.

Steve grinned as best as he could, and hummed his approval of that plan.

Apparently the vibrations from his voice were enough to set Loki off, and he bit down on his lower lip as he arched up and into Steve’s mouth. Steve swallowed as much as he could before he choked and had to pull back, catching the last couple of spurts in his mouth.

It was better this way, taste or no-- at least neither of them ended up with cum on their clothes.

When Loki was finished, Steve carefully removed him from his mouth. Loki took hold of his chin and used it to guide him up and into a kiss.

“You stayed down there for so long-- I’m sure you must be sore.” Loki murmured, rubbing at the side of his face sympathetically.

“You kidding? I could do this all day.” Steve told him, though it was a little weak, given how sore his jaw really was.

Loki hummed, and Steve realized that he was still coming down, still lazy from getting off. He smiled, pleased to see how loose and languid and oddly affectionate Loki seemed, suddenly. Steve passed him a couple of Kleenexes, and Loki wiped himself dry almost absent mindedly, his attention apparently more focused on the tenting in Steve’s slacks.  
  


“And what would you like in return? My mouth? My hands? Are you certain you won’t fuck me?”

Steve froze.

His dick was not at all certain. He knew better-- _knew_ exactly how bad of an idea this was--

Loki saw his hesitation and all but pounced.

He stood and moved in close, movements elegant and all the more predatory for how loose limbed he had become.

He wrapped his long arms around Steve, pulling him close enough that Steve’s erection was pushed against his thigh.

“You’re thinking too hard,” Loki murmured, as he withdrew Steve’s wallet from his back pocket.

“Hey!” Steve protested, but it was weak-- not like Loki was about to run out of here like this, half dressed as he was.  
  


Loki flipped it open and dipped his fingers into the cash fold.

“A hundred on you at all times, and a condom just in case. What a very good boy scout you must have been.”

Loki’s eyes flicked up to meet Steve’s, a tiny smile tugging at the edges of his lips. Steve felt himself blushing, and shook his head.

“I was never a boy scout.”

“Really? Shame. It seems so you-- all American, so wholesome.”

He left the hundred and pulled the condom out, tossing the wallet onto the desk behind Steve.

“And it’s even within its expiration date. So. You weren’t lying, no condoms in your desk. But you’re also down one excuse. What’s the next to be?”

It was a clear challenge, and Loki looked and sounded smug.

But it was also all so ridiculous-- Loki wearing his dress shirt and tie and nothing else. Loki and the way he’d gone from a slightly standoffish jerk to the utter temptation that he was now. Even-- especially?-- coming back to find Loki spread out on his desk… and that had been wrong; a violation. But Steve didn’t think-- he seemed perfectly willing now.

And despite his head swimming with right and wrong and what was and wasn’t smart… he wanted this. A lot.

“No excuses.” He answered, licking his lips a touch nervously. “You sure about this? You wanna do this, here, with me-- even knowing the risks?”

Not that the risks weren’t fun… Or couldn’t be fun, provided nothing went horribly wrong.

“You are so anxious.” Loki purred, reaching up to remove his tie and pop open the top button of his shirt. “And yet there is a very important part of you that isn’t.” He glanced significantly down at Steve’s dick. “Which means, I think, that you are overdressed. Unless you are too afraid to act-- I would not be surpr--”

Loki’s words were cut off when Steve surged forward, laying his hands on either side of Loki’s face, and kissed him. Passionately, hungrily… and clearly enough so to be amusing, because Loki pulled away laughing.  
  


“I know you think it was, but I have to point out that wasn’t an answer.”

“I want this.” Steve returned, keeping his voice level.

“Want what?”

“To have sex with you.”

“To fuck me.” Loki insisted, undoing two more buttons.

Steve watched, unable to look away. He didn’t like the distinction, but Loki wasn’t exactly wrong. They weren’t talking about dating, or going out, or anything like that. They were talking about quick dirty office sex. And if this was Loki trying to say that he didn’t want to commit… it was effective, he supposed.

It just made him feel like a bad guy.

Still, he wet his lips and ran his hand nervously through his hair.

“Yes.”  
  


“Say it.” Loki stopped, three buttons from the bottom of his shirt.

“I want to fuck you. Please.”

Loki snorted.

“So polite, Steve. No wonder everyone likes you so much.”

He opened the last few buttons and shrugged off his shirt, setting it on the chair he’d been sitting on.

“Your turn.” Loki told him, stepping forward. “Unless you plan on just unzipping.” He arched a brow, and Steve shook his head, unable to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth, or pull his eyes away from Loki’s naked body.  
  


“You’re so beautiful.” He said, when he finally could speak, his brain not quite engaging.

Loki’s eyes crinkled when he laughed this time.

“You needn’t flatter me further-- you already have me out of my pants. Though, again, you still aren’t.”

That time Steve caught up, and he brought his hands up to pull his tie off over his head and fumble with his shirt buttons. Loki laughed again, noting his rush, and stepped in to help.

“It’s not flattery if I mean it.” Steve told him, taking advantage of their closeness to be sure Loki couldn’t sidestep the comment, as he’d been doing.

“You’re talking your way towards a dangerous line, Rogers. You’re muscled, you’re hot, you’re here, you’re willing. That’s all I need from you, all I _want_ from you.”

Steve swallowed. He knew that.

“I’ll shut up then. Doesn’t mean I won’t be thinking it.”

“And that’s where the line is drawn.” Loki told him, seriously, though not without mirth.

They got Steve’s shirt off, and while Steve added it to the pile that was Loki’s, Loki went in for Steve’s belt buckle. Steve flinched, and Loki stopped, raising an eyebrow.

“Changed your mind, Rogers?”

“No, no, sorry. It’s just… been a while.”

Loki’s eyes traveled up and down Steve’s body, but he didn’t comment on that, instead sticking with, “Do you want me to keep going, or would you rather undress yourself?”

Steve nodded, then remembered his words again. “No, you can-- Or I will if you don’t want to--”

Loki huffed and made quick work of his fly and zipper before kneeling smoothly to pull Steve’s pants down his legs.

Which put him perfectly at eye level with Steve’s package, once the slacks were puddled around his feet.

Steve was glad that his interest was evident, considering all of their starts and stops, and he inhaled sharply when Loki leaned in, nuzzling at his erection through his underwear.

“I’m surprised,” Loki mused, his breath warm despite the layer between his mouth and Steve’s skin. “I really expected plain briefs from you.”  
  


Steve felt his own brow arching at that.

“Boyscouts and tighty whities-- what do you think I am, some kind of square?”

In all honesty, he wore trunks because Peggy had liked him in them, and because he liked the way they felt, the way they didn’t mess up the lines of his pants.

“The fact that you phrased it that way tells me I wasn’t completely wrong.” Loki told him seriously, laughing with his eyes. He cut off Steve’s objection, though, by opening his mouth and cupping Steve’s shaft through the cotton fabric.  
  


“You don’t need to help me get hard, Loki-- I’m, I’m good.” He stroked over Loki’s hair, marveling at how soft it was, at how the ends of it had begun to curl upwards, shaken loose from the way he slicked it back, normally.

In all honesty, Steve wasn’t sure that he would be able to last past getting inside of Loki, and as embarrassing as that would be, if he came in his underwear before he even managed that much, he thought he might roll over and die of shame right here in his office.  
  


Loki pulled back and honest to god _smirked_ up at him.

“Oh I’m sorry, was I meant to be helping you?”

He looked so damn pleased with himself that Steve made a growling sound low in his throat and pulled Loki up, pulling him into a kiss that was hungry and demanding, and, as Loki responded, giving back as good as he got, incredibly hot and filthy. Steve’s hands drifted down to his hips, and he pulled Loki tight to his front, grinding into him, groaning at the friction, both too little and so satisfying.

When they broke apart, Loki was short of breath, but that didn’t stop him from speaking.

“Oh, you’re good, alright. But are you ready?”  
  


“I am. You’re not. Get back on my desk.” He was a tad impatient, but he also saw how well Loki responded to being spoken to like this, being treated like this-- and though Steve was filing it all away, he didn’t say anything about it right now. After all, this was Loki’s way. He’d get his way later.

Loki did as he was asked, though Steve couldn’t help but mentally compare him to a cat as he took his time about it, like he was trying to make it seem as though it had been his idea all along. And when he arched his back and stretched first, Steve had had just about enough.

He pressed Loki’s chest flat to the table top and took to his knees, pulling his cheeks apart with both hands before he went in with his tongue.

He licked a broad swath up the length of Loki’s crack, not lingering overlong on Loki’s hole, despite how it twitched under his tongue.

Loki made a tiny noise that sounded almost like a hiccup, and Steve did it again, waiting to see if it would keep happening.  
  


It did.

 

And when Steve pointed his tongue and began the process of inserting it in the tight hole, the noises that Loki made got even more desperate. Not louder, thank God, but…

Loki’s whining and writhing on his tongue was an ego trip, and did nothing to make him _less_ aroused.

Once Loki had loosened a little, Steve brought his fingers in to help, laying a light kiss to Loki’s bouncy left ass cheek.

“Nngh. Steve.” Loki protested. “I’m good, you can just--” he was panting, but even if he hadn’t been, Steve would have cut him off there.

“I’m not going to hurt you. Not like that. You need to be able to walk out of here, remember?”

Loki groaned.

“There’re lube packets in my jacket pocket.” He nodded his head, and Steve looked, surprised.  
  


Loki’s jacket hadn’t been on him when Steve had come in. In fact it was draped on top of Steve’s jacket, over the back of his computer chair. And Steve hadn’t even noticed it until now.

“What, you… you expected this to happen?” He went from being clear headed to being confused.

“The masked people put it in there.” Loki sounded impatient.

Steve stiffened.

“So _they_ expected this to happen. And we… played right into whatever their game is.”

The idea that maybe there was a camera, that people could be watching them right now, people set on ruining both his and Loki’s career…

He could feel his interest rapidly waning.

There was no guarantee it was Thor, even though Loki had thought so. And that was admittedly the best-case scenario.

He withdrew his touch, clearing his throat and trying to find a way of explaining to Loki why his insides suddenly felt like they’d been tied up in knots, but Loki groaned and rolled over.

“Look. It was me, okay? I didn’t expect this to happen, but I hoped. I had a friend of mine help, I asked to be laid out for you. The lube is in my pocket, so _please_ , just use it.”

Steve stared at him, trying to make sense of it all.  
  


“I think,” He said slowly. “I think you should get dressed. And go back to work. I don’t--” He broke off, shaking his head.

“Steve--” Loki was trying to sound soothing and it just made Steve angrier.

“You lied to me.”

He was pulling his clothing back on and had to stop and re-button his shirt twice, missing buttons in his anger and his hurry.

“Are you going to…?”

Loki didn’t have any emotion in his voice, and he was at least dressing, so Steve decided to give him that answer, at least.

“I won’t say anything as long as no one asks. So I guess it depends on how smart you were with the security cameras, when you had someone _tie you up in my office_.”

He just couldn’t wrap his head around it, couldn’t make sense of the words coming out of his mouth. And it wasn’t like going to anyone would do him any favors, either.

And Loki-- Loki just nodded, accepting his decision without looking at him.

“Thank you.”

Once he was dressed, he went around the desk to grab his jacket, then headed for the door.

They didn’t say anything else to one another, and with a quiet click, Loki shut the door behind him.

Steve’s eye fell on the abandoned spreader bar, which had ended up partially under his desk, and he quickly put it in his laptop bag.

He fired off an email to Fury about heading out an hour early for a doctor’s appointment, shut down his computer, and went straight to the gym.

Nearly three hours (and one busted punching bag that he’d offered to pay for) later, he pulled into his driveway at home and sat back against the seat of his car, hands still on the wheel. He breathed out slowly, angry and hurt and, above all else, achingly _alone_.

It hadn’t bothered him too much before this, but now…

He didn’t know what it was, what was _wrong_ with him, that the first time anyone had looked his way in a while it had been so… everything about it had been so wrong. He didn’t know what he’d done to give Loki the idea that that would work, but he had, and it had, and…

And now Steve had made a huge mistake. And he had nothing to show for it. Other than the memory of the sting of his lips after a kiss ended, the memory of the way Loki had sounded. His taste.

He couldn’t even trust what Loki had told him, couldn’t believe him-- about the blackmail and the reason he was mistrusted. Couldn’t pass that information on to Fury in good faith.

He leaned his forehead against the steering wheel.

How had he managed to fuck everything up in just a couple of hours? One afternoon, and he’d sent his entire life crashing into the sea.

He’d resign in the morning. It was the right thing to do.

He’d find something else, somewhere else.

Maybe he’d move.

Or maybe not.

All of this felt an awful lot like running away from his problems.

He heaved a sigh and finally got out of his car, retrieving his gym bag and his laptop bag and heading inside.

He’d barely crossed the threshold into his house and kicked his shoes off when he froze.

“Close the door and join me. We should talk, you and I.”

 

Loki, against all reason, was sitting in one of his leather arm chairs. Specifically _his_ leather armchair.

He’d bought two, in case of company, but found himself mostly occupying one. And he knew it showed-- the seat dipped, the cushion was softened with use, in a way that the other’s wasn’t. And Loki had intentionally taken Steve’s seat.

Somehow, irrationally, that was what made him angriest.  
  


At least, until Loki lifted the glass of wine that he’d apparently poured for himself. And Steve didn’t keep white wine on hand-- red, yes, for cooking, but he bought white for drinking only right before he drank it.

Which meant that Loki had planned this all out. Again.

“You broke into my house.” He found himself saying dully. “How do you even know where I live, how--” He cut himself off. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“No, probably not. I realize that the invitation you gave me earlier was fairly thoroughly voided by how we parted, but…"  
  


Loki looked at him, and for some reason Steve felt self conscious. He licked his lips under the weight of Loki’s gaze.

“But you decided you weren’t done with me yet.” Steve finished bitterly. “So what is this, then? Blackmail?”

Loki looked away from him, looked across at the other chair.

“No.” The word was so quiet that Steve barely heard it.

“No, this is… your way. I’m not good at it, but… I’m here.”

Steve reached up, rubbing at his temples with his thumb and ring finger of his right hand.

“My way of what?” He asked, his patience gone.

“I like you, Steve.”

Loki said it so frankly, so earnestly, that Steve almost laughed. And it sounded so juvenile… but Loki pressed on.

“I don’t like people… often. And I don’t know what to do when I do. I know that people… no one likes me. As a person. It’s better just to give them an easy way to have sex with me, since that’s all it ever ends up being. And this afternoon, I was hoping… No one is decent. Not like… if you had any interest at all, I figured we’d have some quick office sex, pat ourselves on the back, and move along. Like some kind of… exorcism, I guess. For my liking you.”

Steve listened, throat tight, and a thin thread of horror slowly creeping its way into his gut.

“You said it doesn’t happen _often_ \-- have you done this before?”

“Yes.” Loki said, nodding. “But only within the scene. I don’t--” Here he stopped himself, exhaled and pushed his hair back from his face.

“The safest way for me to handle this has historically been to just get it out of my system.”

Steve could only imagine, if everything had gone the way Loki wanted, what that must have been like. For whoever the other guy was, or… hell, for Loki. Just the way he said it.

_No one likes me. As a person._

“I don’t like you.” Steve said, and he knew it was mean. He knew he said it partially just to watch Loki deflate.

But he didn’t. He just nodded, accepting it. His expression didn’t change, and Steve realized that Loki wasn’t the least bit surprised. And that made Steve’s chest clench up again.

“I could, I think. But you haven’t given me a chance. I didn’t get an option, or a choice.” He crossed his arms. “Just like you didn’t give me a choice before you showed up _in my house_.”

“I was afraid you would refuse to speak to me.” Loki spoke smoothly.

“I probably would have. At least for a day or two. But that’s something you just have to learn to accept, because _I get that kind of say_. You don’t just ambush people. And if you want them to like you, this sort of thing? Definitely not helping.”

“That is the thing, though. Generally speaking, I do not want people to like me, or, more accurately, I do not much care if they do. You, on the other hand, seemed determined to be considerate, to treat me well, almost in spite of me.”

Steve shook his head.

“What you said earlier-- about how no one’s decent. I think maybe you’re just cornering people, squeezing them until they can’t be. Or… Or maybe it’s more that you don’t know or haven’t been interested in the right sort of people. I don’t know. But how I acted today… I want you to know I don’t do that. That isn’t… I don’t know why I let you talk me into it. But what you saw as consideration? That’s just base level common decency.”

“You are not so base as you seem to think, nor so common. And I do apologize-- for cornering you now. For forcing you into this conversation, just as I forced you into the situation I put us in earlier.” The words came out gracefully, almost slick, and Steve felt another prickling of ire, this time because it didn’t seem sincere.

But then, he considered, maybe it was partially because he hadn’t eaten, and he had just spent a lot of time and energy at the gym.

“Like you said, you’re here now. And I did offer to make dinner. I’m hungry. Will you stay and eat?”

Loki looked surprised by that, too, and Steve could see from the expression on his face that he was wavering.

“I’d… like that. Yes. Please.” Loki said at last, and Steve nodded.

“You’re welcome to bring your wine and join me in the kitchen.”

“There is more wine in your refrigerator.” Loki told him, clearly turning it into an offer. “It… seemed wrong to come empty handed.”

“So you showed up with wine in one hand and lock picks in the other? How romantic.” Steve’s voice was dry and he knew he was still angry, still coming off as angry.

Loki’s face crumpled, and he looked away again.

“Is there anything I can do?”

And Steve wasn’t sure if he meant to make Steve like him, or to apologize, to win trust… or if he just meant making dinner. Either way, Steve wasn’t planning on letting him off the hook that easily.

“First, shoes go by the front door. Then you can pour me some wine, and sit over there and keep me company while I cook.” He gestured at the barstools on the other side of the counter- the side closer to the door, giving Loki the unspoken opportunity to leave whenever he wanted. It also gave Steve a few seconds to figure out what to do with the situation.

He heard the wine being poured, but he kept his back to Loki, letting himself work through the thoughts he had while he chopped the vegetables.

He’d picked up enough food to make dinner for himself for the coming week. Which meant more than enough for the two of them for tonight, and he could package up the left overs. That made it easier-- he didn’t have to worry about stretching ingredients. He could do this part on auto pilot.  
  


Which left him with The Loki Problem.

“You were saying earlier, how no one likes you. How they just want to have sex with you. How does that-- does it make you feel used, at all?” He kept his tone light, conversational, kept his hands steady.

Loki shrugged-- and Steve could hear the material of his shirt sliding over his shoulders. The same shoulders that Steve had pushed against to hold Loki to his desk, earlier.

“It’s easier. Better. Hurts less, it’s less personal.”

“Huh.” Steve said, unable to hide his annoyance with the answer.

“I guess that’s true, if you’re that worried about forming connections. Me, I’m less afraid of that. Or… I’m afraid of it, but I live with that fear, face it head on. And me? I feel pretty damn _used_.”

He turned around, just in time to see Loki flinch.

“This, by the way, is why you don’t force a conversation. If you’d waited a day or two, I might be able to be nicer.”

“You might be three states away, too.” Loki looked apologetic, but he didn’t seem like he was backing down. “I couldn’t risk it, because I didn’t mean this to… I wasn’t trying to ruin your life. That was never my intention. It should have been easy, no strings attached. Just…. Fun. Good sex. We both would have enjoyed it.”

“And after? I invited you back here-- did you ever have any intention of showing up?”

Loki watched him, eyes moving over Steve’s face, and he pursed his lips.

“Maybe, if the sex was really good. I’d show up for round two. But most likely, I would have made some excuse. Missed a few days of work. Come back and publicly dated some made up person for a while, just until you gave up hope.”

Steve listened, eyes wide and anger welling in him.

“That’s a lot of effort for a one night stand. I didn’t peg you for a coward.” He spat.

Loki had done all of this, planning to fuck him and throw him away.

“I don’t know why.” Loki said lazily, somehow responding to Steve’s ire by becoming, if anything, more arrogant.

And the realization made him look closer. Loki’s hand was trembling, shaking the contents of his wine glass ever so slightly.

“Everything I told you today points to me being exactly that. An overachieving coward.”

Steve seized on that point, because he needed to know-

“And how much of what you told me is true? How can I believe _anything_ you say?”

Loki looked like he’d been slapped, and when he spoke again, the bravado was gone.

“Everything I told you today was the truth, save the lie about how I came to be in your office, presented as I was. You don’t have to believe me, but I don’t have any alternative versions. Just that. Truth.”

He paused to look down into his wine glass, but didn’t take a drink.

“And on that note-- I’d appreciate if, when you do tell Fury whatever version of this you’re going to give him, if you could leave out the part with Odin and my father. I thought I’d gain points with you for honesty.”

He let out a bitter little chuckle.

“You did. Until you fucked it up.” Steve managed to get that out evenly, or at least, evenly enough. He’d turned to the stove, busying himself with cooking so that Loki couldn’t see his face.

He could feel Loki’s eyes boring into his back.

“This job is all I have, the only hand hold I have been able to scrape out for myself. Once my contract is up in a few years, I have no illusions of being retained. But I will, at least, have experience. Have the money I am able to put away now. I can see from your own home that you understand that-- you live like someone used to not having enough. I don’t want to go back to that.”

Steve turned and stared at him, more shocked than angry.

“What do you mean by that?” He asked cautiously.

“My father was fired and had accusations and lawsuits leveled at him, from the time I was born until he died. We never had _enough_.” Loki sounded defensive, and Steve blinked, then actually shook his head.

“No, I understood _that_. You know what your problem is? You think everything’s about you. It’s about how it’s easier for you if you don’t get close to people, you complain no one likes you, but when they do, you already have a plan of action to push them away, because they aren’t convenient for you. Even this-- _I_ could lose my job just as easy-- easier-- than you. _I_ was never interested in just using you for sex, and you’re still doing everything you can to make this sound like you’re somehow a victim here. _You_ broke into _my_ house, you cornered me, I’m _still_ trying to be decent, God knows why, and you’re accusing me of… of trying to take your future away from you. Which clearly wasn’t a worry you had when _you_ had some friend of yours _tie you to my desk_ and then decided to come on to me at work. I already said I’m not reporting you. What else do you want from me?”

Steve completely gave up on cooking, snapping the flame off and leaving the half cooked chicken breasts to sizzle gently in the oil at the bottom of the pan.

Loki lifted his glass and finished the wine within it.

“I’m not certain. I didn’t like-- leaving it off as it was seemed… wrong.”

“Oh, was that it? That was the only part that seemed wrong to you?” Steve felt nearly hysterical.

“No. No, of course not. And it felt wrong because-- not because of my job. Or yours. But because you were so decent, so good… I… normally I can justify treating people poorly, based on some sort of… moral failing, I suppose. But you--”

“Save it.” Steve cut him off. “I’m not interested in your judgement, good or bad. I know what I did. I know what I regret. I also know that I feel stupid and used, and you calling me a good guy doesn’t make that any better.”

“So what would?” The cajoling tone was gone from Loki’s voice, and he was almost businesslike, now. “I have tried to explain why I did what I did, and you are not interested, but you have listened. You have not thrown me out. So I think the question must be, what can I do? How can I make it up to you? What do _you_ want from _me_?”

Steve had no easy answer, and instead he let his eye slide to the wine, then changed his mind and grabbed a couple of sodas out of the fridge. He sat one down in front of Loki and opened the other, buying time.

“When I found out I had to talk to you, I looked you up. Talked to people who worked with you. Talked to Thor. Tried to build some idea of your life, so I would be able to help. And… I guess I decided you were lonely. That you needed people.” Now it was Steve’s turn to laugh bitterly.

“Probably just me projecting.”

Which was a stupidly vulnerable thing to say, all things considered. He should know better, with how the day had gone.

“You weren’t wrong.” Loki told him, words so quiet that they were almost lost to the soft bubbling noises from within the can.

“I can see that. But the way I imagined you… the lie worked with that. The truth doesn’t, as much.”

“Ahh.” Loki sat up a little straighter, and looked like he would have sat back if the stool would have supported him. “So you were right-- not everything is about me. Some of it is about what I’m not. What is it that you expected of me, Steve? I could pretend for you, if you like. I’m told I’m quite talented at it.”

Steve shook his head quickly, nearly knocking over his can of soda in the process.

“No, that isn’t-- I wouldn’t ask that. I’m just saying that…” He trailed off, not sure what he was saying. That he could have used more time, he supposed.

“You’re saying that I didn’t live up to the fantasy. I apologize.” Loki didn’t sound hurt at all, in fact he looked and sounded like he was on more even footing.

“Yeah, well, I guess I didn’t either. You were really into the idea of being thrown over my desk and fucked.” Which was… more of a concession than he’d meant to make. But he also knew that no one went from that kind of vulnerability to that kind of composure that fast, without it being a mask.

“In all honesty, and against all of my better judgement, I still am. As it turns out.”

Loki tilted his head down and looked up at Steve slyly, through his lashes.

“What a coincidence. I’m still into the idea of making you dinner and… maybe instead of jumping into something physical right off the bat, we could get to know one another first? Without the weird blackmail undertones?”

“I would say it is a little late for us not to have been ‘physical right of the bat’. But if you are saying I can make some minor reparations by eating with you and not trying to fuck you tonight… I would not mind making the effort.”

Steve bit down on his lower lip, thinking it over. Trying to decide if this was really any smarter than what they’d done at work before.

“Alright- on one condition: I want to know what your intentions are with this. If… if this is just to humor me, so you can go home at the end of the day and feel better about yourself, that’s fine. But I don’t want to sit here and get my hopes up about… anything.”

Loki was smirking at him, and it made him trail off.

“You are asking me if I intend to get into a relationship with you. I have to admit, it was not my intention when today started. And you may not believe me now, when I say that I am not… wholly opposed to the idea. But… as you pointed out, thus far much of what we have done has been about me, and physical. And in reality I don’t know you any more than you know the me that isn’t fantasy. So. That proposal seems premature, does it not?”

“I wasn’t suggesting you move in or anything.” Steve snapped, pushing away from the counter and crossing his arms, feeling defensive.

Loki laughed.

“What if we compromise? Dinner. Get to know one another. If neither of us objects strenuously before the evening’s out, maybe we can pick up where we left off earlier. And… if all ends well, we can decide if it is worth setting another day, doing it again. I am open to the possibility, Steve. I just do not want to be tied down unless I’m sure.”

Steve felt his mouth twitching upwards, and chuckled.

“You really should have thought about that before you had someone literally tie you down.” He told him, but he figured it was pretty clear he was joking.

His smile faded a bit, though, and he added, softer,

“When I asked Thor if you had friends, he said no. I’m glad that isn’t actually the case.”

Loki stiffened.

“Thor knows next to nothing about my life.” He said flatly. “We are not really brothers, and he is acting as if I was… I’m not certain what it is Odin told him. But I suspect it is a lie, or an incomplete truth at the very least. He acts as though my being revealed as part of his family was some sort of gain for him.” Loki made an annoyed sound, and Steve tilted his head.

“Wasn’t it? If I found out I had a brother, I’d probably be excited and want to be part of his life, too.”

“Which would be grand. Unless the brother knew about your existence and had grown up hating you, for the life you lived and the things your family had done to his.”

That shut Steve up pretty quickly. He nodded, considering it.

“Have you talked to him at all? About your… differing expectations?” He asked carefully.

“No. I avoid him as much as possible. He is a bit like a duckling, though, forever following me around. He will give up eventually, and at least I will not damage his relationship with his father if he never learns more about me.”

That was sad, Steve thought, but he understood Loki’s point of view. Even if he didn’t agree with it.

“What about your mom?” He asked.

“She returned to her parents’ house when Laufey died. I have not visited. We do not speak much; we were not close. Both of my parents were too busy working to make ends meet.”

That was no excuse, Steve knew. He wondered if the truth was that Loki’s mom resented what he represented. Or if, when Loki found out why things were the way they were, he resented her for sleeping with Odin.

“What of your parents?” Loki asked, cutting through Steve’s thoughts.

Steve cleared his throat, going from embarrassed to uncomfortable.

“My dad died when I was small. And my mom passed away… a few years back. She’d been sick for a while, but… she was still so young. I wish I’d been in a position then to do something more for her. But you were right. We didn’t have enough, either.”

Loki was scanning his face, and after a moment he nodded.

“So the image of me as someone so entirely alone in the world, the one you constructed after speaking to Thor. That appealed to you because of a sense of relatability, didn’t it?”

Steve sputtered a little, drawing another laugh from Loki.

“Alright, you know what, if we’re doing this, I’m going to order in. I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep up with you if I’m cooking too.”

Loki didn’t laugh, but the corners of his eyes turned up when he smiled, and Steve figured that was nearly as good.

He pulled the few takeout menus he had out and spread them on the counter.

“Your pick.”

A few minutes later, food sorted, and a brief squabble about who was paying for it later, Steve invited Loki back out to his living room.

“So… I just want to put it out there, I’m glad that you have friends, even if Thor doesn’t get to count… as one of them or your brother.”

He felt like he needed to say that, because what Loki had said before about Steve being attracted to him for the image of loneliness… he hadn’t been completely wrong.

“The friends you speak of, of course, being the one who helped me with my presentation earlier?” He asked, shaping the words to delicately step around what he’d done.

Steve nodded.

“You want to know about her, I take it. Judge if she is a friend only, or something more.”

Steve opened his mouth to object, but Loki just raised an eyebrow at him.

“Amora is both more and less, I am sorry to say. She is not a friend, and I will owe her dearly for her aid today. But… as for being more, she is someone I met at the dungeon. We have slept together, and there are times that her particular brand of sadism fits my needs.”

Loki spoke of it so bluntly, and Steve’s brain rolled over at that, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking--

“Is she the one who taught you that limits were bad?”

And he could tell he’d come off too strongly, by the way Loki’s brows raised.

“So indignant on my behalf, Rogers. But at least when I ask her to fuck me, she actually follows through.”

Steve gaped at him, and Loki just shook his head.

“Leave it. Believe me, you aren’t interested in that story. Only know that what I have had in sex, I have wanted, asked for, and enjoyed. No, I would rather speak to you about how you needed me to be lonely, because apparently you thought I would be more desperate for your kindness, that way. It is a line of thought I would honestly find more on-brand for myself than you.”

Loki was not being cruel, or at least that was clearly not his intent.

“It wasn’t about that, it wasn’t about me hoping you were… I felt bad, thinking you were lonely. And… it’s something where… I know how it feels.”And even though he’d said as much already, he couldn’t help but feel a little shamed by his own admission.

“But more, I figured… you know, everyone has that kind of daydream, right? Of, maybe they think about me, maybe I have a chance after all. That was all-- I figured, if you were lonely… maybe I wouldn’t be. It was selfish and more than a little pathetic, I’ll admit. But I wasn’t trying to be manipulative.”

“Not like me, you mean.” Loki said evenly.

“I didn’t say that. That wasn’t what I was trying to say.” Steve rubbed his head, not sure how they both managed to keep missing one another, going the wrong way about all of this.

“You wouldn’t be wrong, if it had been. So, rather you thought that my being lonely would be the only reason I would have interest in you-- if I saw you as the only or one of my limited options.”

Steve pressed his lips together, uncomfortable with having that turned around on him that way.

Loki watched him, then snorted.

“You are an idiot, Rogers.”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay. I let my daydreaming run away with me. It won’t happen again.” He looked down, trying to keep his eyes on his hands, rather than looking at Loki. It felt… invasive, somehow.

But he looked up when Loki left his chair to come and crouch in front of Steve’s, his hands gentle on Steve’s knees.

“Steve. You weren’t wrong. I am lonely, I am manipulative. _And there is a reason I paid someone to tie me to your desk_.”

Steve blinked, because somehow he’d missed that. Loki was looking up from below him, face suddenly so open and vulnerable and eyes begging him to believe him, and Steve’s chest felt so warm that he had to chuckle.

He palmed the side of Loki’s face, and Loki leaned into his touch like he was starved for it.

“You have to admit, your idea of a meet-cute is a little… unconventional.”

Loki shrugged.

“It seemed the safest, fastest way to know for sure if you were interested. If I was put in that position without my consent, you couldn’t blame me for it if you weren’t interested. And I’d have simply begged you to tell no one, written it off to a workplace prank in poor taste, and cited my reputation. I knew even then that you were decent enough not to ruin me for that.”

“You keep saying that-- like decent is the highest bar you’re looking for. I guess I’m just worried that… I don’t know what your expectations are now.” And Steve knew that crouching like that couldn’t be comfortable. He pulled Loki up, guiding him to sit on the arm of the chair. Not in his lap, but closer. Where he could see every twitch of emotion that Loki tried to smother under that mask of his.

“Decency is-- has been-- in incredibly low supply, in my experience. From the people who take one look at my joining their team and drop all of the work at my feet to the men who raised me… decency is something I have a poor grasp on for myself. And something I find… mesmerizing, when I see it in others. Appealing. It will sound hyperbolic, I realize, but frankly I don’t know how you can even live this way. Nothing I do has a core of decency behind it.”

Which was hardly a ringing endorsement for him, Steve was well aware. But still.

“I’d say the way you’re talking to me now is pretty decent. You’re being honest… and, to be honest in return, I’ve had a lot of complaints about you, at work. And they talk about how you’re rude and commanding and… I haven’t seen any of that, not really.” It came out almost as a question.

“You are not threatening my career, my livelihood. I do not feel I must watch my back around you. Surely you can imagine why that appeals-- when I live the rest of my life in a state that is decidedly otherwise.”

Steve hummed.

“Maybe I should come and watch you work, see how that changes things.”

See if having him around made Loki feel less need to have his hackles up, see if it made the others treat him better. After all, not everyone could possibly be against him. The likelihood of that was too small, and it seemed more likely that he was making enemies out of would-be friends with his defensive suspicion.

Loki scoffed.

“Your presence would only make them think I was at risk of being fired. It would encourage their behavior.”

Steve frowned, unable to argue with that-- it was true.

He might see about having someone else assigned to the same group as Loki, though. Maybe Natasha-- she seemed pretty level headed. And he knew Fury trusted her, and she and Steve had worked well together before.

He didn’t say anything about that to Loki though, just in case he wasn’t that good of an actor.

Better he not know.

“I do not believe I have done anything at work that is punishable.” Loki said, pressing the subject of the complaints. “I may be short, sometimes irritated, but for all that I have been impolite from time to time, I have never been antagonistic nor harassing nor abusive.”

“Outside of us basically having sex in my office, you mean. Well. The complaints were that you try to lead every project you’re put on--”

“I am merely laying claim to the work I am doing!”

“And that you’re rude. Condescending.”

“Which I would not need to be, if my coworkers _worked_.”

Honestly, it sounded like another position would be better for him. Steve wondered what his contract said, exactly. Maybe Nick would let him look. There had to be something he could do to make this work…

“But you are thinking overmuch about the office. Do you take your work home with you like this every day?” Loki stood, moved behind the chair and leaned over, rubbing at his shoulders.

Steve sighed. It felt good. And Loki had felt good-- he couldn’t forget that, no matter how much he wanted to. Especially right now, when he was supposed to be staying mad at him.

“You mean do I walk in my door to find work sitting in an armchair drinking wine? Not quite.” He put a smile on it, though, trying to soften the words. “I generally only bring work home like this when there’s a problem.”

Loki frowned.

“And is that what I am? A problem?”

Steve would have liked to say no, but all he could do is tilt his head upwards and lift his eyebrows.

Even Loki had to laugh at that.

“I suppose so. I am sorry.” And he sounded it-- and a little self deprecating, as well.  

Steve shook his head.

“If there wasn’t a problem, most likely we would never have spoken. We managed for this long, after all.”  
And what had it been? Months? Coming up on a year, he thought.

“Oh, no, I would have found a reason to speak with you. Likely the same reason… I just wouldn’t have had an appointment.”

Steve flushed, imagining how things would have gone differently, had he not walked in alone.

“Don’t uh-- don’t do that again, alright? You’ve gotta find better ways of breaking the ice than staging a sexual assault slash kidnapping.”

Loki laughed lightly.

“But it served me so well-- appealing both to your kink and your mile wide protective streak.”  
  


“But it also forced me to mistrust you, when I found out the truth.” Steve shot back.

Loki sighed.

“And is there nothing I can do to make up for it? It is such a small lie, in the greater course of things.”

Steve’s mouth twisted at the idea that this was a ‘small’ lie, but before he could answer, his doorbell rang.

“Well, to start with, you can go answer that. I’ll set up the table.”

Getting some distance between he and Loki should have helped clear his head, he thought, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

He still wanted him, and again, maybe he was just lonely, and maybe it had just been so long. Maybe he was just being a stereotypical male, and thinking with his dick.  
  


Whatever the reason, when Loki came back with the food, he looked even better than dinner smelled. Long and lean and slightly rumpled, his usual sleek lines disrupted from their day.

And from the flash of interest that crossed Loki’s face, Steve knew he must have done a bad job of hiding his appreciation.

Fortunately, Loki didn’t push his advantage. Much.

“Dinner first.” He murmured. “You insisted. Besides-- best if you keep up your strength.” He gave Steve a devilish smile from under his lashes, and Steve wanted to hide his face in his hands, able to feel the blood rushing to his cheeks.

Instead, Steve passed Loki a plate and Loki opened one of the paper containers.

“It still feels wrong.” Steve said, almost conversationally, as he sat.

Loki followed suit, keeping them on the same level, this time thankfully with a table between them.

“Why?” He asked, equally lightly, though the expression on his face made it clear it was a challenge.

He dished himself some mushroom chicken and passed the carton back to Steve, accepting a noodle dish in exchange.

“I’m not sure. Something about… we shouldn’t have done what we did. And I feel like… I’m HR, I shouldn’t be… fraternizing.”

“You’re guilty about what happened at the office _because_ it was at the office. And because now that you aren’t in the moment, you’ve had time to think how badly that could have gone. But it didn’t. As for fraternizing-- I assure you, there is nothing at all brotherly about my intentions toward you.”

Steve snorted and ducked his head, trying to sort through it.

“You’re right. A workplace romance is bad enough, but that was… absolutely, unforgivably inappropriate.” He rubbed at the back of his neck.

“And if I were to assure you that it will never happen again, would that help?”

Loki spoke smoothly, pulling apart the chopsticks that had come with the meal and using them to dish himself some of the sweet and sour chicken.

“I think the problem is more… that it _has_ happened. I’ll have to go back, and remember it. And… I liked it.”

He spoke quietly, and Loki’s grin was sharp, almost predatory.

“You _want_ it to happen again.” He said, and it wasn’t a question.

Still, Steve shook his head no.

“That’s not-- it’s too risky. And that was some of the thrill, but…”

“But now you know the after effects of it, so that particular thrill is ruined.” Loki concluded, somewhat mournfully. He wasn’t too sad, though, to start eating.

“You needn’t worry; I can find other ways to thrill you.”

Steve swallowed wrong and coughed, reaching for his drink to help.

“So what,” he cleared his throat. “What is it you’re after with this? Beyond tonight.” He clarified. “You talked about setting up another date after this. Is it just sex, you just want to… I don’t know, hook up from time to time?”

“Would you be willing to make such an arrangement?” Loki sounded surprised. “I rather expected you to be more or less a _going alone or going steady_ sort.”

Steve felt his brow wrinkling.

“So you figured you would just date me to have sex with me?”

He couldn’t help but feel stung by the thought.

“I never said that. I told you I assumed you would want to be in a committed relationship, just as you have just told me you assumed I would pretend to have a deeper interest in you for easy access to sex. The latter of which is a ridiculous assumption. If that were all I was after, it would have been much easier for me to walk into a bar, find someone to take home for the night, and written off this afternoon entirely. Instead, I came _here_.”

Steve grimaced-- he’d clearly rustled Loki’s feathers, which… considering the mask he was so good at wearing, probably meant he’d hurt his feelings.

“I didn’t mean-- I just… don’t see you as the sort of person who would date me.”

Loki snapped his mouth closed, and Steve wasn’t sure if that was worse.

“Why?” Loki asked, the single word giving away about as much as his face, which had gone utterly blank.

Steve wasn’t sure what he was asking.  
  


“Why?” He repeated, angrier sounding, and Steve flinched, because apparently, yeah, it was worse. But Loki wasn’t done.

“Do I seem incapable of it, to you? Do you think I am, what, too unstable?”

And he sounded angry, but Steve could see he was hurt.

“No, not at all, that isn’t-- I just mean, you seem so put together, and so… elegant. Like you could have anybody you wanted, and I don’t know why you would ever decide what you wanted was _me_. It’s not that I think you’re… _lacking_ in any way at all.”

Except maybe in social abilities, but he wasn’t about to say that. Not when he’d clearly hurt Loki’s feelings as badly as he had, without even trying.

Loki studied him, frowning.

“So you see yourself as lacking, in comparison to an image you have of me on a pedestal.”

It wasn’t a question, and Steve sputtered, not sure how to respond, really.

“In fairness, no one knows anything about you other than the rumors, I’d guess. At the way you present yourself at work…”

Steve trailed off. “There’s not a lot of information for me to fill in the blanks with.”

Loki smiled, then, but it was sharp and dangerous and predatory, and it made Steve swallow instinctively.

“And pray tell, what have you _filled in_? What are the stories you’ve told yourself, when you think about me?”

He made it sound absolutely filthy, and Steve coughed into his hand, trying to think of how he could possibly answer that.

“It’s not like… it’s not a hobby of mine or anything. It’s just. Mundane things, I guess. Because you have that mask you wear at work, and trying to apply it to the rest of your life seems… it just doesn’t fit.”

Loki was watching him, his face blank, and Steve felt creepy, invasive. As if _he_ was the one who’d broken into Loki’s house, and not the other way around.

“Well.” Loki said, finally, resuming eating. “You don’t have to date me, don’t have to agree to anything so structured or permanent sounding, but… if you are interested, I’d like to have you over, and you can see what it is I am like, in my mundane life and without my mask of professionalism.”

Steve felt his brows rising, surprised.

“And what would we do at your place?” He asked, hoping for a little more insight as to where this was going.

“I would make dinner. We could talk. And then, if you were willing, I would take you to bed.” Loki shrugged. “I’m a fairly simple man.”

Steve couldn’t help but snort, and this time, Loki’s smile wasn’t quite so sharp.

“Well. Simple enough when it comes to intentions. I know you have more than enough reasons to doubt me, but. You say I make things about me, too much. You want to know why I chose you, why it was your desk I ended up laying across. Shall I tell you how I have been watching you, observing your interactions with the others? How you are so quick to volunteer, to put yourself out in the interest of helping others, even though you _must_ know they would never do the same for you.”

“It’s my _job_ ,” Steve protested, mouth falling slightly open.

Loki rolled his eyes.

“You are well liked, respected, but no one seems to be as desperate for your affection as you are for theirs. You helped Clint move. You gave Tony a ride home when his ridiculous sportscar broke down. You even made an attempt at helping Jarvis to repair the printer, though you must admit you are hardly the most technologically capable person. You speak kindly to even the most obnoxious of our coworkers, and anytime anyone speaks of making plans, you look at them like a dog, hoping for table scraps.”

Steve’s mouth clicked shut at that, and he set his jaw, bristling. Loki held up his hand, though, cutting him off before he could even begin to defend himself.

“If you specified in your rules for office relationships that it was allowed, I have no doubt that you would have invitations nearly every night of the week. You want to know why I chose to leap at the opportunity? Because _you gave me one_. Because I wanted to get to you before anyone else could.”

Loki was looking at Steve in a way that gave him the impression he was almost looking through him. Part fondness and part exasperation and part fear, and suddenly Steve felt incredibly uncomfortable and… under qualified.

He licked his lips.

“I don’t think I’m… what you think I am.”

The bar Loki had set for him went beyond just decent-- he saw him as self sacrificing and…. And just as lonely as Steve had imagined Loki was.

Which maybe wasn’t so far off, but…

“I think we both have masks.” Loki countered. “And we can only judge the other by what we see, but… What I have seen is attractive, and clearly you see something you like as well. Perhaps elements of that will remain, when we peel the layers back. And if not… well, at least we will have tried. Unless, of course, you think this all sounds like too much effort. If so…by all means, tell me if you really would prefer just sex, or feel free to send me on my way.”

Steve blinked.

“I’m fine with the effort, but there might need to be ground rules. Sex at work being fully, 100% off-limits is one of them.”

Loki heaved a put upon sigh.

“If you insist.” He answered, playfully popping a bite of chicken into his mouth. He was smiling as he chewed, though, and Steve got the impression his eating was more to keep himself from being too obviously pleased.

“Any rules you want to put down?” He asked, waiting as Loki chewed and swallowed.

Loki shrugged.

“I still will not call you ‘daddy’.”

Steve couldn’t help himself; he snorted again.

“I still wasn’t gonna ask you to.” He told him seriously.  
  


“Are you going to ask anything else of me?”

Steve thought for a second, glancing down at his plate, then back up and into Loki’s surprisingly sharp, very serious gaze.

“Do you want to pick up where we left off in my office earlier?” He found his mouth saying, before his brain had quite caught up.

Loki was already pushing his chair out and standing.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He said silkily, and circled the table, reaching Steve just as he got to his feet.

Their kiss this time tasted like Chinese takeout, but beyond that, it was… almost hesitant. Like Loki was waiting for a reaction, or for the other shoe to drop.

It made something in Steve’s chest tighten, and he reached up, cradling Loki’s face gently before deepening the kiss, tilting his head and kissing him fervently, though unhurriedly.

He wanted to be thorough with this, hoped he left no doubt in his mind.

But, given their track record, he figured it didn’t hurt to say it, too.

He pulled away, not far, not for long. Just enough to be able to get the words out.

“I want you.”

Just long enough for Loki’s eyes to open, for his confusion to register, and then, as the words made sense, for him to relax again, leaning in. His lashes brushed over his cheeks, and Steve only kept his eyes open long enough for him to see the smile that creeped onto Loki’s face, before he pulled them back together.

The next time the kiss broke, Loki took the opportunity to murmur a simple, “Your room?”, but Steve felt those two words all the way down his spine.

“Yeah-- oh, hang on.” He broke away to grab his work bag, where it had never made it any further than the entry way.

“Sorry. This way.” He led the way deeper into his place, past the bathroom and laundry room. His bedroom door was open, which was normal, and he was grateful he was a fairly neat person, because otherwise, unprepared as he was, who knew the state the place might be in.

As it was, the bed was even made.

He sat his bag beside the bed in its usual spot, and tuned to find Loki taking the room in, and no doubt learning about him-- or making judgments about him-- just based on what he saw.

Steve felt his face heating up a bit, though he didn’t see anything to be particularly embarrassed by or about.

“I uh, don’t have people over often, so.”

“It is a room very suited to you. It’s nice.” Loki said evenly, without the slightest sign of judgement. “And in honesty, it could be a Motel 6 for all I care-- it has a bed, and I imagine we’ll soon be in it. That’s my primary interest, at the moment.”

Steve gave Loki a slightly crooked smile.

“Gee, you always know just what to say.”  
  


Loki had the good grace to grimace, but he came closer just the same.

“Let me make it up to you?” He asked, raising his hands to the front of Steve’s pants.  
  


Steve let his hands fall and caught Loki’s, stilling them.

“I don’t know. I think as much as I like you tied up or on your knees… you’re a bit bossy for this to be some sort of show of contrition. Maybe you should just ask for what you really want.”

Loki looked up at him, eyes wide with surprise before they went nearly lazy, half-lidded.

He was hiding behind his smug expression, and Steve wondered why, until he spoke up:

“That doesn’t bother you? Me being bossy?”

And from the sound of it, it had bothered someone. Maybe the same person that had taught Loki not to say no to things. Steve felt low grade concern for that, but he knew better.

Steve shook his head, attempting to disarm Loki’s worry as quickly as possible.

“Did you know I used to be army, before I took the job with SHIELD? It wasn’t an accident. I _like_ taking orders. My last partner was a former officer of mine-- and she liked me as a service top. And I like hearing-- and giving you-- what you want.”  
  


Loki’s eyes lit up a little at that, and one corner of his mouth crooked upwards.

“I didn’t know that.” He murmured. “But fine: I want to suck you, get you hard and ready, and then I want you to fuck me into your mattress, and through it, if at all possible. Is that agreeable to you?”  
  


Steve licked his lips and released his grip on Loki’s wrists.

“Yeah, that sounds good to me. One thing first, though-- I want to see you, all of you. Will you let me take your clothes off?”  
  


Loki stared at him for a second, then took a step back and nodded.

“I don’t know that I’ve… done this, this way, before.” He said quietly, not quite shyly, but not as sure as he had been earlier.

Steve pursed his lips.

“Can I talk you through what I see, as I undress you?” He asked, and Loki nodded quickly, enthusiastically.

Steve reached first for his collar, straightening it before he moved to undo Loki’s tie.

“You go into this sort of thing, thinking you have to be all submissive, get your dom to drop their guards, agree to fuck you-- and then you turn it into a power struggle. Which, if that’s your thing, that’s fine. But I don’t think it is. You don’t actually like giving up control, do you? You sort of want to call the shots, but you want to bottom, too, right?”

He drew the tie away, a little disappointed that his words were too loud; he couldn’t hear the hiss of the silk sliding across the cotton underneath.

Loki hummed, watching Steve through lowered lids-- hiding those expressive eyes of his again. But he was listening, wasn’t arguing-- he didn’t seem to have his hackles up. So Steve pressed on.  
  


“And I bet someone told you’re you’re bossy, or told you off for topping from the bottom-- someone who just wanted you to be some kind of _obedient little toy_ for them.”

Steve’s expression twisted at that, even though he was just guessing. If it was true, he found it distasteful.

“Which all comes down to communication. Like I said, I get off on giving you what you want-- and if that means you want me to spank you bright red, or fight you for control, that’s fine. I can work within almost any parameters you give me. But I do want you to give me some. Because leaving it up to me, the way you were taught? That’s how lines get crossed. And that’s the last thing I want.”  
  


He had been working at the buttons down the front of Loki’s chest as he spoke, and as he reached the part where Loki’s shirt was tucked into his pants, Loki caught his hands, much as Steve had done, not long before.  
  


“And if I want to be _your_ ‘ _little toy_ ’?” Loki asked, his voice dropped deep and turned smooth.  
  


“Then I want to know how you like to be played with, so I don’t break you.” Steve answered, his voice gone a little rougher in response.  
  


Loki pushed his hands aside, and Steve withdrew them quickly, wondering where he’d misstepped. Hoping he hadn’t managed to cause harm, or come off as judgemental.

But Loki pulled his shirt out and shrugged it off, maintaining eye contact.

“I want you to use me, screw me until I’m pliant and can’t talk, can’t argue or order you around any more. I want to be taken apart until you get yours. I _want_ to be broken, by the time you're done with me."  
  


Steve felt a slow smile spreading over his face, part incredulous and part because he could recognize a challenge when he heard it.

“And you’ll tell me how you want me to do that? Help me do it right?” He asked.

Loki returned his smile.

“Try and stop me.” He answered, leaning in and pecking at Steve’s lips. He pulled away before the kiss had a chance to deepen, though, and Steve felt mildly cheated, until Loki spoke.

“But first-- my pants are feeling a little tight. You should probably get rid of them. And yours, too.”

And _that_ , Steve could do. Happily.  
  


He opened the fastenings of Loki's pants and followed them to the floor, dropping to his knees as he slid them off Loki’s feet.

He ran his hands down Loki's perfectly muscled legs, marveling at how long they were, how sparsely haired. It was nice, but he suspected he’d think that no matter what he’d found hiding under those slacks. The fact that it was _Loki_ was somehow heady.

He peeled off his socks, then sat back on his heels and pulled off his shirt, looking up at Loki.

He knew Loki wanted to blow him, but he resolved to spend some time in this position sometime very soon, hopefully with Loki's dick in his mouth, watching him come apart above him.  
  


“You don’t seem like the kind of man to leave a job half done.” Loki said, looking down his nose at Steve, and Steve felt the flush taking over his face. He stood quickly.  
  


“I wasn’t finished. Just… appreciating.”

He let his hands fall to his fly and got it open in short order, shoving his pants down and his underwear along with it. Like Loki said-- he didn’t do things by halves. And Loki seemed impatient which, he supposed, was a little fair.

Almost as soon as he’d stepped free, Loki reached for him, but Steve held up a single finger and pulled his own socks off, refusing to be the only one wearing anything.

Amused, Loki waited just that long, then sat on Steve’s bed, reaching out again. Steve stepped forward and Loki grabbed his thighs, pulling him in closer.

“Grab my hair,” he directed, looking up at Steve, face from this angle utterly open, “Help me take you-- use my mouth, my throat. Be as rough as you want-- I like it.”

He licked his lips and took the head of Steve’s dick in his mouth, not waiting for an answer.  
  


Steve closed his eyes, just long enough to catch his balance, to get used to the feeling, but opened them again quick, because he didn’t want to miss out on any of the sight of this.

“You like being used, huh?” He asked, gathering Loki’s hair up with both hands before transferring it all into one.

He liked having one hand free to rest on the side of his head, directing him to change the angle just a bit.

Loki, unable to properly respond, due to his mouthful, simply hummed and leaned forward, taking in more of him. Steve felt his cockhead hit the top of Loki’s throat, and his words temporarily fled as he felt him trying to relax, to be able to take him further.

He pulled his hips back.  
  


“Don’t hurt yourself, Loki. I’ll take care of that for you, when you’re ready for it. Just get me nice and wet first, make it easy on yourself. At least to start.”

Loki tilted his head up to glare at him, but didn’t release his dick, his tongue instead circling the shaft while Steve felt the moisture building in his mouth.

“That’s right.” He was half tempted to tell him how good he was being, but wondered if that would tread too close to Loki’s clear line in the sand of daddy issues.

So instead he used the hand not tangled in Loki’s hair to run gentle fingers across Loki’s cheekbone. He watched as Loki’s eyes widened in response, and then, almost immediately, he pulled back and lunged forward, and Steve felt his cock slide into Loki’s throat.  
  


The sound that came out of him was guttural, nonsensical, and embarrassing.

And Loki looked up at him and honest to God managed to smirk around his dick like the cat that had got the canary.

“Fuck, Loki, that’s good.” Steve managed to say, and Loki hummed his appreciation, causing Steve to shudder.

Loki pulled back, licking his lips.

“I said _use me_.” He didn’t sound annoyed, just impatient, and Steve’s laugh came out as a slightly breathless chuckle.

“Yeah? You gonna let me know if it’s too much?”

Loki just glared up at him and opened his mouth, sticking his tongue out.

Steve stroked his thumb across the flat of it, feeling the warmth and softness and having to restrain the shiver he felt as his dick twitched at the memory of what it felt like.

And he could be in there now, feeling it again. _Using_ him, like he said.

But he also hadn’t answered, so Steve withdrew his touch  
  


“Please?” He asked softly. “Please tell me, if you need me to stop?”

Loki looked at him strangely, then huffed.

“I will. But I need you to start before that could even potentially become a problem. Come _on_.”

He pulled at Steve, tugging him closer, and Steve grinned, feeling distinctly victorious.

This time, as the head of his cock pushed past Loki’s lips and into his mouth, he didn’t stop himself from doing what he had wanted to all along, tilting his pelvis and thrusting forward.

Loki swallowed him easily enough, and Steve only rested there for a second, just to be sure all was well, before he began withdrawing.

Loki seemed to think that was too slow, though, and lunged after him, dragging his cock into his throat again.

Steve got his fingers tangled in the hair on either side of Loki’s head.  
  


“Here, just let me.” he murmured. Loki all but went limp in Steve’s hands, though he braced himself still on Steve’s thighs. He allowed Steve to guide him, pushing and pulling and tilting his head back and forth.

Steve got an idea, a wicked, perfect idea, and pulled out, simultaneously pulling Loki off the bed.

“You want to be used? I can do that. Open.” he commanded as authoritatively as possible.

Loki did, obedient, though his brow ticked upwards, as though his sudden kneeling position on the floor was more of a curiosity than a challenge.

Steve pressed his palm to Loki’s forehead and used it to tilt his head back, then braced his left knee on the bed.

He took his cock in hand and stroked it, spreading the moisture that was there until it was as slick as he could get it--

“God, your cock is perfect.” Loki murmured. “I need it, Rogers. Give it to me.”

He wasn’t sure why the use of his last name hit him like it did, maybe just because of the utterly wrecked tone of Loki’s voice, but it sent a shiver down his spine, and made him want to give Loki exactly what he asked for.  
  


He plunged in, the new angle almost exactly right, allowing him to go balls deep in a single stroke. Loki’s throat worked around him, and Loki made small spluttered noises, but Steve just closed his eyes, soaking it in. Reveling in it.

He pulled back, gave Loki a moment to catch his breath-- or at least, _a_ breath, and then he returned.

In and out, he sawed like it was his job, like the pleasure he was chasing was the last he’d ever feel-- but he stopped short, withdrawing as he felt the edge growing closer.

Loki gasped and fell forward, hands on his knees, panting.  
  


“Is that what you wanted?” Steve crooned, gently pulling Loki’s hair back so that he could see his face.  
  


“Why did you not finish?” Loki demanded, voice on the rougher side. It made a shiver run down Steve’s spine, and he chuckled and used two fingers under his chin to make Loki face him.

“I didn’t want to finish anything until after I get you off. I’m supposed to leave you wrecked, remember?”

Loki batted his hand away.

“What’s the matter, Steve? Afraid you couldn’t muster the energy to finish twice?” Loki stood, and Steve felt his brows raising.

“If you really wanna swallow, you know all you have to do is ask.” He pointed out, which he thought was fair, but Loki waved him off.  
  


“I suppose I ought to have you stretch me open, instead, now that you’ve ruined the moment.” Loki said, as if he were annoyed.

Steve wasn’t buying it; he sounded breathy and his eyes shone with anticipatory glee.  
  


“Lay on your stomach for me.” He instructed.

Loki did, choosing this time to listen. He flung himself across the bed and looked instantly relaxed.

Steve smirked, took hold of his ankles, and pulled him backwards, until just his chest was on the bed and he was kneeling.

Loki squawked indignantly, and starting to lift himself and turn, clearly intending to speak, but he stopped immediately when Steve rested a hand on his ass.  
  


“You wanted me to punish you last time. Is that something you like?” He stroked his palm over Loki’s left cheek, teasing. Taunting him.  
  


“It isn’t the pain, if that’s what you’re asking.” Loki told him, words blunt but voice muffled.  
  


Steve hummed, though he didn’t stop caressing him.  
  


“What is it, then? Do you want me to tell you how _bad_ you are?” He made it sound intentionally mocking, trying out a humiliation play.

Loki stiffened a bit, his spine straightening, and Steve realized he couldn’t tell whether that was a good sign or a very bad one.

“It’s better, if you’re going to treat me roughly, to remind me why I deserve it.” Loki said finally, and Steve felt the smile slide off his face.

For all Loki said that was what he wanted, it sounded like he needed to be convinced. Every time.

Steve knelt behind him and didn’t try to come up with any words, instead turning his attention to laving his tongue over Loki’s hole.

That first stroke made Loki shudder and cry out softly, before he bit down on the noises, but it gave Steve a small taste of what he should be striving for. And he was good at striving.

He worked best when working towards a goal.

So he went to work, trying to coax those noises out. All he managed though were muffled, abortive little moans. It was hot, this kind of battle of the wills, and it was also driving him crazy.

He was so hard he felt like he was going to cum the second he touched himself, so he refrained, instead burying the tips of his fingers in the soft flesh of Loki’s cheeks, holding him open.

“Steve, please, _fuck me_ , come on.”

Apparently, Loki had decided he’d been teased quite enough.

Instead, Steve pulled his face back and rested his chin in the small of Loki’s back, able, from this vantage point, to watch as the muscles of his shoulders tensed when the source of pleasure was taken away.

So tense. Like he was waiting for it to change, waiting to be hurt.

It made Steve’s chest feel funny, not quite an ache, but a yearning sort of feeling.

He wanted to show him something better than that.

“You sound so good- why are you trying so hard to be quiet?” He asked, finally.  
  


He heard Loki breathe in through his nose, obviously gathering himself, and he couldn’t help but a small swell of pride when he spoke, and still sounded wrecked.

“Maybe you haven’t earned it yet.”

Steve hummed.

“What do I need to do to earn it?” He asked, arching an eyebrow but keeping his words soft.

Loki turned to face him, looked him square in the eyes, and gave him perhaps the most predatory grin Steve had ever seen.

“Fuck me through the bed, Rogers. I think I deserve that much. And I’m sure it’s what you want to do-- it must hurt, how hard you are. How ready for this…” Loki trailed off, his eyes trailing down Steve’s body, and Steve felt himself flushing.

“I’m ready,” Steve allowed. “But you aren’t. I should loosen you up some first, or it’s going to hurt.”

Loki huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Your consideration is noted, but not needed. I _like_ it, and you’re meant to be taking, remember?”

Giving by taking, of course, Steve thought, but didn’t say. He smirked.

“Yeah, I remember. I just remembered something else, though-- hang on.”

He pulled away and moved back to his work bag, Loki turning to watch him go, and when Steve pulled out the spreader that Loki had abandoned in his office, he couldn’t help but look a little triumphant.

“Can I?” He asked. “I wanna see what you look like when you’re all trussed up _without_ your work clothes on.”

Loki eyed him for a moment, then shrugged.

“Whatever you want.” He said, shifting to be in a better position to be buckled into the spreader.

Steve frowned.

“But what do you want?” He pressed insistently.

“I’ve told you-- I want your cock up my ass, splitting me in two until my brain shuts up and I stop questioning why you are _trying so hard_.”

Loki practically snapped the words, despite how plaintive they sounded, and Steve felt his eyebrows shoot upwards.

“I thought we were clear on that-- I want to give you what you want. And I know that you’re being impatient, and that you want me to- to fuck you--” he nearly tripped over the word, but he pressed on as gamely as he could. “But I also want to try harder, to do more than that, because I want to impress you. I want to show you what you’ve been missing out on, or… I wanna try and be what you were missing out on. Maybe show you some things that you don’t know you want, yet. If that’s okay.”

“How very noble. And what do you get out of it?” Loki asked, and Steve could almost have laughed at the suspicion in his voice.

He leaned over, putting his weight across Loki’s back, the spreader slapping down on the bed beside him.

“You, I hope. I want you to come back wanting more. Wanting me.”

He felt the fight go out of Loki, felt him relaxing under him.

“I already do.” He murmured, mouth half-buried in the bedspread so that Steve wasn’t certain he had heard correctly.

“Yeah?” He asked, hoping Loki wouldn’t be insulted by the surprise in his voice. He recovered quickly, though. “Alright. And the spreader bar? Do you want that?”

Loki shook his head no, and Steve grinned, relieved that he hadn’t just taken him at his word.

He knocked it off the bed one handedly.

“No problem.” He told him. “You just want my dick?”

Loki huffed.

“That is what I have been saying, yes.” He was sure the words were meant to be icy, but with as breathy as he sounded, he missed the mark.

Steve pulled away to pull a condom out of its wrapper and to fetch lube.

“I know you like it to hurt, you want it hard and rough and able to turn your brain to jelly. But I’m still gonna work you open, at least a little. Otherwise you’re not gonna be the only one in pain.”

Loki huffed again, but didn’t answer-- at least not verbally. Instead, he pulled his knees up onto the bed, raising his ass in the air and offering it to Steve.

He got the condom on quick, half afraid he’d lose his load from just the quick touches it took and the feel of the rubber on him.

“Hurry up. Fuck.” Loki insisted.

He looked so damn inviting like that, shifting impatiently, but apparently unselfconscious about his position.

“Yeah, fuck.” Steve couldn’t help but mutter, slicking his fingers.

He slid one, then two into Loki, gratified at how easily he relaxed at Steve’s touch.

The sound of him pulsing his hand back and forth, the slick loud against the quiet backdrop of Loki’s shallow breaths was all that Steve could hear, beyond his own heart beat.

“You’re so good, so perfect. So ready for me.” Steve told him encouragingly, able to feel himself growing dumber with lust.

“So ready.” Loki moaned, sounding even more wrecked than Steve felt, which was also gratifying. “Please, Steve?” He sounded almost sweet, and it made Steve feel shaky.  
  


“Alright.” He whispered. “Hang on.”

He lined himself up, pressing gently against the rim of Loki’s hole, then, when Loki didn’t say anything, didn’t tell him to stop or try to pull away, Steve let out a breath and pressed in, the slide quick but controlled and smooth.

Loki moaned like the sound was being wrung out of him, and Steve smiled.

“And you don’t want it slow, right?” He asked, the words half a pant at this point, while he teasingly bobbed his hips shallowly and gently, trying to get Loki used to the stretch of him.

Loki hummed, obviously taking his time in trying to form words.

“Hard and rough you said, right?” Steve pressed, and when Loki nodded, he complied, immediately speeding up, shifting his stance to better be able to hammer in and out of Loki quickly, but not violently.

He wanted to wreck the guy, not maim him.

He might have a hard time walking for a little bit though; Steve considered that acceptable.

“Tell me.” He said, words soft and in Loki’s ear as he leaned forward and knocked Loki down almost flat across his bed-- he got his hand under Loki’s chest to catch him, but made a point to bear downwards, to drag Loki’s cock against his bedding.

“Tell me what you feel, what you want. What you want me to do.”

“Feels good. Full, so hot. Feels like I’m gonna… break in half.” His words came out shuddery, fluttering on his uneven breaths.

“Too much? Not enough?” Steve asked, his own ability to talk taking a nose dive.

He realized he really, _really_ wanted to see Loki’s face right now. But he realized too that Loki would probably be pretty against that, considering how hesitant he was to show any even slightly vulnerable side of himself.

“ _Break me_.” Loki pleaded, his voice high and reedy with need.

Steve swallowed, almost ashamed at how the request made him somehow impossibly harder.

And Loki must have felt it, too, judging by the little whimper he let out before Steve had quite managed to gather himself.

He shifted his weight and thrust in, bearing down on the slim form under him so roughly that he was genuinely afraid of hurting him.

But the cry that Loki let out was nothing short of grateful, satisfied.

Steve did it again.  
  


“Gonna pull you out of your head, get you to relax and give in, gonna ruin you till you can't think of anything but me while I'm in you, and crave me when I'm not.”

Steve spoke roughly, nothing about this elegant. But that was Loki's specialty, and he seemed to be more interested in someone strong enough to throw their weight around.

… And decent enough to know when not to.

Whatever Steve thought he lacked, Loki didn't seem to mind.

He honest to God whimpered and arched under Steve, thrusting back and into him as well as he could.

“Next time,” Steve said, not wanting to push him now, “next time I'll roll you over. Bet you're so beautiful when you're falling apart. Bet you'd look so good, flushed and panting my name.”

He didn't even know how he was talking, right now. But he knew Loki liked it; he could see the twitches, the way he tensed, could hear his moaning and _feel_ the way he clenched around him.

He had to stop talking to be able to view his lip, struggling for the control he needed to keep himself from going off and ending everything prematurely.

“ _Steve_ …” Loki muttered, and he struggled up, getting his hands under him.

Steve stopped moving, stepping back to give Loki the room to do what he needed.

Loki rolled, or maybe more aptly, he lifted himself up only to collapse onto his back.

Steve found himself staring at Loki, who was watching him with half lidded eyes all blown out and dark with lust.

Steve swallowed, then nodded.

“Yeah. Beautiful.” The words came out no louder than a breath, but he was already moving back over him.

“I need you to stop being so _nice_.” Loki was fighting to get the words out and Steve felt his chest warming with unexpected fondness, even as he registered the complaint.

“Yeah, sorry.” He told him, running his palm across the sweat prickling at the top of his neck. “I’m um. Having a hard time. Between messin’ you up like you want, and-- I keep thinking about how you want me to be decent, and the decent thing to do is talk it through first. Better.”

Loki stared at him for a long moment, but he reached down and took himself in hand, stroking himself slowly, almost lazily.

Steve twitched under the scrutiny.

“Should I- do you want me back in you, or…?”

“Can you fuck me and talk at the same time? Because if so, I don't know what you're waiting for, to be honest.”

Loki said, teasingly,  and sounding a little more like his usual self.

Steve arched an eyebrow.

“Consent,” he said bluntly, then, “and to be sure I'm not gonna end this too soon by accident. I still wanna wreck you thoroughly first.”

“Mm.” Loki hummed noncommittally. “You were well on your way, before.”

Steve grinned.

“I know. But this is better. God, your eyes are so dark right now. So much extra color in your cheeks.” He found himself staring, eyes running over Loki's face from up close, taking in everything all at once, as much as he could.

Loki huffed out a laugh and reached up, taking hold of his chin again and pulling him down into another thoroughly filthy kiss.

“You can stare later.” He told him, when their lips parted a few moments later. “Right now, I was promised a breaking point, and I hear you keep your promises, Rogers.”

Steve licked his lips, chasing the taste of him, and sat up to line then back up.

“I try.” He said, honestly.

With that, he slid back into Loki, the way eased by the lube from before, but maybe tighter from the new position or from Loki having come back to his senses a bit.

Not that it would last long; Steve could tell from the way Loki's eyes went half lidded and his head tilted backwards just a little. It made the lines of his neck lengthen, a sight that, for whatever reason, made Steve’s mouth go just a little dry.

His throat wasn't quite bared to Steve yet, but he had a feeling that it would be, as they continued.

And he wanted that. It made something low in his stomach clench with desire.

Some sort of animalistic urge that wanted him to lick and bite and leave marks _all over him._ But he needed control for this, and he'd have plenty of opportunity later if he did this right. Based on what he’d said before, he didn’t imagine Loki would object.

And if he did, Steve would listen of course-- and count it as progress.

He shifted his hips and thrust again, causing Loki's mouth to drop open slightly. Steve couldn't resist leaning in with his next thrust and licking along his bottom lip, the slightest concession to the voice in his head, urging him on.

“What do-- what do _you_ like?” Loki asked, eyes open barely to slits as he took what Steve was giving him, raising his arms to drop them over Steve’s shoulders.

“I like the way you look right now-- so beautiful like this, needy and perfect. I didn’t know you could turn this shade of pink.” Steve nuzzled at Loki’s cheek, still bent low over him but still moving, thrusting slow and deep. He could feel the warmth there, the blood close to the surface of Loki’s skin. And he could hear as he opened and closed his mouth, looking for words.

Eventually, he did manage a slightly garbled, “Damn you, come on.” but it lacked any real fire. He had none of the disdain from before left in him, and Steve chuckled.

“You know, some of the complaints I got were about you having a stick up your butt. If they only knew that was less the cause and more the solution…”

Loki let out a bark of laughter at that, which made Steve grin, absurdly pleased with himself.

“I hope… you aren’t suggesting I sleep with the whole company.” Loki said, and Steve immediately felt his eyes go wide and round at the image that sprang to mind. He felt something else, too-- a possessiveness he hadn’t thought would apply in this situation. This was supposed to be casual, wasn’t it? Taking it slow? And Loki must have been able to tell.

Loki took Steve’s face in both hands.

“I wouldn’t, Steve. I’m this needy because _you_ drove me to it. And I want _more,_ want you to get what you want out of this. So what do you _like_.” This time, it sounded more like a demand.

“I like… knowing, I guess. Tell me what you feel, what I can do better. I want to get you there, want to know all the tricks, all the quirks of your body so next time I’m better at it. And the time after that…” He trailed off hopefully, holding his breath for something closer to the sort of bossiness that Loki had shown in his office. Loki watched him, considering, before he answered.

“I feel… _wholesome_. I’m used to sex hurting all the way in my chest, to the core of me-- not, not necessarily physically.” Loki’s words were quieter now, and his head turned away as he spoke, so that he didn’t have to look Steve in the eyes.

Steve caught Loki’s chin and stopped moving, his mile wide protective streak suddenly at the forefront of his mind.

“I’m not going to tell you that you’re wrong, or bad, or… whatever variation of that you usually get. I’m not gonna tell you off for being bossy. I’m not going to make you feel like you deserve to be mistreated-- talk you into letting me hurt you. It’s one thing if you like it. It’s another if that’s all you know. All you’ve known.”

Loki made a frustrated sound and jerked his head back, bouncing it off of the mattress in order to yank it out of Steve’s hand.

“I don’t know what I expected. You being so _good_ and all.” He said it like he meant it to be an insult, but his voice wavered. “I don’t think I get can off, though. Without that.”

He sounded small, and ashamed.

Steve felt like his heart was being squeezed, but he also felt like he knew better what he should be doing, now.  
  


“You said you wanted me to get mine first, yeah? Then how about this: Let me make love to you, let me try my way. And… if that really doesn’t work, if you really can’t get yours… then I’ll do whatever you need me to. Up to and including telling you what a sick little whore you are.”

Not his favorite option, but he didn’t have a better plan.

  
  


Loki stared at him, then groaned.

“I guess that’s… it’d be like edging right?”

  
  


Steve huffed and rolled his eyes.

“You tell yourself that. I’ll try and make you forget it though.”

“Oh?” Loki asked, clearly a challenge. But Steve reused to rise to the bait. At least, not in the way he wanted him to. He shifted a bit, reminding Loki that he was inside him, but pressed his advantage.

“You’re in the scene, you’ve had at least a few partners… what’s BDSM about? To you, not the textbook definition. Why do you look there?”

Loki huffed.

“If you’re looking for a sexy answer…”

“I’m not.” Steve promised. “Just tell me, for you, what’s the appeal?”

Loki frowned thoughtfully.

“I’m going to sound stupid. All the blood for my brain is… elsewhere.”

He was stroking himself again, but leisurely, and Steve made no move to stop him. He _wanted_ him to enjoy this. Despite the near stand-still they were at now.

“That’s alright. I’m not trying to judge you.”

“It’s a socially acceptable place for me to seek out short term abuse. And a good way to build up a rolodex of people who can scratch the itch, whenever I get it.”

Steve nodded, working not to frown, though he didn’t like the answer, and it went against everything that Loki said he was attracted to about Steve himself.

“For me, it’s about the power plays, sure, but it’s also about… trust. And communication. For you, it’s about hooking up and getting hurt-- I try to avoid hurting people or getting hurt myself. At least in ways neither one of us wants. So for me, it’s a slower process. Building trust. Learning about a partner and what they want what they like, what they don’t.”

He pulled himself out until just the tip rested inside of Loki, able to feel him rhythmically squeezing around the head of him.

“I want to learn to trust you, learn what you do and don’t like. Give you reasons to trust me. So here’s my plan-- as long as you can, I want you to tell me about your rolodex. Tell me who you’ve been with, and what they did that you liked. Why you’d keep their numbers.”

Inwardly he quailed, having a feeling he’d like this answer even less than the last, but already planning on giving Loki as much of the opposite experience as he could muster up.

Loki’s mouth curled upwards, apparently delighted by the request.

“And you’ll keep fucking me while I tell you, is that it? Alright. But I’m only giving you their kink names. Shall I go in reverse order? Skurge is my latest-- one of Amora’s pets. He’s big, both in cock and stature, and he’s good at holding me down, making it hurt.”

Steve swallowed, but he kept his attention on Loki’s half lidded eyes.  
  


“Where does he hold you?” He asked.

“By the wrists. Or with a hand around my throat. He left bruises on my waist last time, nearly in the same spot your hands were, a few minutes ago.”

He sounded like he was taunting Steve, and still, he refused to fall into it.

Instead he reached out, taking Loki’s hand that wasn’t otherwise occupied.

He brought it up to his mouth and kissed his fingertips, one at a time, never breaking the even stare he kept trained on Loki’s face.

He only looked down to press a kiss to his palm, then the inside of his wrist, and then he moved back, tilting his head to kiss along that neck he’d so admired before.

He’d wanted then to bite it and bruise it, but he couldn’t think of anything he wanted less right now.

He was going to prove he was better than some guy who went by ‘Skurge’. No matter how big his muscles or cock were.

“Who else?” He asked, sliding back into Loki slowly, luxuriously. He wanted to reward him for his honesty, but he was still going to do this his way.

“Before that, The Grandmaster shared me with his friend The Collector-- they run their own clubs, and they both like… curiosities.”

“Yeah?” Steve asked, wondering what these two were like-- what they looked like. He wished he knew, so he could picture them together. It must have been something, watching Loki get taken apart by two people. Then again, considering Loki’s tastes…

“What makes them special? And what makes you a ‘curiosity’ to them?”

He knew why he was interested in Loki but he had a feeling there weren’t many shared interests between him and the people Loki called on to abuse him.

“It’s really all about how they see you, how they talk to you. Like you’re a thing, like… like you’re nothing. Unimportant. Just… something to be used. Maybe not even good for what you’re being used for. Worthless.”

For all he claimed he enjoyed it, he sounded… bitter.

“Why do you like that?” Steve asked, words light. “Is it… do you think that about yourself? Does it feel good hearing someone else say it?”

Loki looked sharply at him, arching a brow.

“Are you attempting to psychoanalyze me, or were you ever going to get back to anal-izing me?”

Steve snorted at that.

“I just want to know what parts you like. You like to be made to feel small?” It certainly seemed like it; between the stress on size and being degraded and objectified...

“Mm. I like to be put in my place and fucked, I think that’s fairly straightforward.”

“You accused me earlier of putting you on a pedestal, and I wish I had words to be able to accuse you of the opposite. Putting yourself in the gutter, maybe. I think they’re both wrong, though I still think the pedestal’s better suited for you.”

Loki huffed out a little laugh.

“You’re in danger of sounding cheesy, Steve. If I have to listen to this, without any further fun, I’m going to put my clothes back on.”

Steve rolled his eyes and reached up to take hold of Loki’s wrists, pulling them up above his head.

“Just trying to put you in your place. Your real place; not the one assholes and your own self doubt try to shove you in.”

“Hmm.” Loki said, inscrutable, and Steve had no idea what he felt about any of this. “And the fucking?” He prompted. Steve laughed, until Loki wrapped his legs around him, using his leverage to pull Steve into him.

“How often do you actually call any of those people?” Steve asked, though the words were breathier than he’d planned, since he hadn’t had a chance to prepare himself for the feeling of Loki around him, this time.

“Only when I need to.” Loki answered, which wasn’t much of an answer at all.

Steve shook his head.

“Tell me how to fuck you, how to treat you, so you’ll call me more.

“The fact that you want me to is reason enough, but please, Steve-- I just need--”

Loki trailed off.

“Tell me.”

“Do something-- something…” He seemed to be groping for words, searching for the right thing to say, and Steve shook his head.

“I know you want me to hurt you. And I can-- but it has to be because you want it, not because you think you deserve it, or don’t deserve better. If it’s for you, because you enjoy it, I’ll do whatever you ask me to-- but I also want to build up to it. So I can trust you and you can trust me.”

Loki hesitated, and for the first time, Steve felt like maybe he’d gotten through to him.

“Will you choke me?” He asked, voice small and body straining up to meet Steve’s, despite the hold he had on him.

“I like the way that feels, the… the dizziness, the coming untethered. It's not-- just something small, something for me.” It was the first honest sounding thing that Steve had heard from him in bed, and he felt himself relaxing because of it.

“Yeah, yeah of course. I can do that.”

He took his hand away from Loki’s wrists and rested it gently on his neck, not yet squeezing, just positioning it.

He wanted to cut off the blood, not his airway, and… and it was distracting, stroking the soft, smooth skin of his neck like this.

“You like that too?” Loki asked, looking up at him, and Steve smiled.

“You have no idea how much I wanted to lick, and suck, and leave bite marks all over your throat, earlier.”

His voice had gone low again, gruff, and Loki moaned in response, which made Steve’s hips snap forward and into him, almost of their own free will.

“Yeah, fuck, do _that_.” Loki told him, and Steve raised his eyebrows.

“ _Please_.” Loki added, and Steve shook his head, chuckling.

“It’s not that, I’m not trying to make you beg, I just-- I thought you said no marks people could see.” He didn’t have many limits from Loki, but the few he did have, he was going to be very careful not to cross.

“I really do _not_ care. Let them wonder, or I’ll wear high collars, just whatever you do, stop _holding back_.”

“Choking, for now. We’ll negotiate more later-- when you aren’t half crazy from edging.” He decided firmly, beginning to squeeze while he pulled back and snapped his hips forward again, pulling another moan out of Loki.

Loki finally moved his arms, and Steve let him. He was glad, too, when Loki’s hands came to rest on his shoulders, his blunt nails digging in ever so slightly.

Loki exhaled slowly and it felt reverent somehow, like he was getting what he needed.

“You're so hot, you know that? So beautiful. I can't believe all these people have had you in their hands and been stupid enough to let you go.”

Steve breathed the words out, lips brushing against Loki's neck just under his ear, so he knew he heard him.

“And you? Will you-- let me go?” Loki asked, and it was raw, both with emotion and with lust. Steve was taking him apart on more than one field.

“Not unless you really want me to. I'd like to keep you though. Hold onto you. I'd like to love you.”

He shifted so that he could keep moving his hips, keep driving them both closer to coming, but keep their chests closer together, so he could touch as much of Loki as possible.

Loki made a sound like a hiccup, or a sob.

“You think you could?” He asked, and his eyes were bright and wide, completely guileless, maybe for the first time that day.  
  


“If you'll let me.” Steve told him seriously, “I'd like to try. I think… we could be good. For one another.”

Loki smiled up at him, soft and beautiful, then suddenly tightened his fingers, digging into Steve's back.

“Close,” he gasped, and Steve felt himself smirk.  
  


“Told you,” he said, short of breath from how suddenly tight Loki felt around him. “Told you I could finish you--” he let up on Loki's neck all at once, letting the blood rush back in.

That, it turned out, was enough.

And Steve, who'd been holding back for a bit now, relaxed and let himself come too, Loki's soft gasping moans the perfect soundtrack to their first shared orgasm.  
  


He watched through drooping eyes as Loki threw his head back, the long column of his neck tempting and beautiful. Every line of him was tense and taut and… Steve just wanted to draw him.

 

And then, when he relaxed, when he started coming down, Steve wanted to draw him again. Soft and warm and…  
  


“I did say you could stare later, but… would you mind pulling out first?” Loki asked, and though the words were acerbic, he looked and sounded nothing but fondly amused.  
  


Still, Steve felt embarrassed.

“Oh, sorry, yeah-- wow, sorry.”  
  


Loki sat up, following after Steve as he backed away, and propped himself on one elbow.

“Well, moved to monosyllables. I agree-- that was… good.” His tone changed at the end, again losing that edge, though this time it was a choice rather than the result of what Steve was doing to his body.  
  


Steve tied off his condom and tossed it out before coming back to the bed.  
  


“I know it wasn’t really what you wanted--” he began, but Loki reached up, pressing his fingertips to Steve’s lips.  
  


“It wasn’t. But I think you aren’t entirely wrong; I’m a little mixed up about what I want and what’s… not good for me.”

Steve didn’t answer, waiting, and Loki’s hand fell away, but he chased it, catching it in both of his own.  
  


“I meant what I said. About wanting to be the person you call back. About thinking we could be good for each other.”

Steve told him. Loki looked down, then hardened his jaw and met Steve’s eyes.  
  


“And the other part? About being able to love me?” He looked like he was bracing to be told it was just pillow talk. The sort of thing you said in the moment.

Steve smiled at him, feeling a little shy about it now, but he shook his head just the same.

  
“I meant that too. I think it’s worth giving it a try, at least. And… even if it doesn’t work out like that, I think you know, I’m… lonely. And you--” He almost said _hate yourself_ , but stopped just in time. “You might enjoy finding new things you like. Softer things. And proper negotiation for the stuff that isn’t.”

He didn’t even try not to sound bitter about that last bit, which helped to make it all a little less serious seeming.

Loki laughed.  
  


“I think I might enjoy that, yeah. So… where do we go from here? My place tomorrow night, or…?”

Loki let the words trail off, sounding unsure and again, so vulnerable that it squeezed at Steve’s heart.

“I was thinking a shower. And if you want to spend the night… oh, but work in the morning.” He frowned.  
  


“I’ll just get up early and run home to change.” Loki said quickly, surprisingly eager to stay, when Steve had expected him to take the opening and leave.  
  


“Yeah? Alright. I’ll get up when you do and make coffee to make it easier.”

Loki smiled.  
  


“You have yourself a deal, Rogers. Now… are you going to show me where the bathroom is, or am I going to have to wander through your place naked and coated in cum?”  
  


Steve bit his lip to try and stop the smile.

“I’ll give you the full tour after. Come on.”  
  


He stood and led him out of the room.

It was a shaky start, admittedly, but, he thought a good one. And there was promise here, potential.  
  


Fury, he had a feeling, would not be pleased. For some reason, the thought made him grin.  
  


Life had just managed to get much more interesting.

This was probably not the solution any of them had imagined, when Steve was tasked with solving the problem of Loki, but he was pretty sure he liked it anyway.

  
  
  


 


End file.
